Under The Yellow Lights

Summer

"In the end its just pretty eyes and broken hearts"

~WolfWomanWriter

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Listen to "Sweater Weather" by theneighbourhood.

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The summer breeze was warm on my skin as I sat there watching the sun set. The sky was like a colorful paint ball bursted in it painting it with purple, orange, red and million other shades of pink. My hair flew in sync with the wind. My shirt was heavy with sand and my pants were rolled up to my knees. The water was shyly touching my toes now and then. I welcomed the feeling, smiling to myself. I rose up and ran towards the giant endless water body in front of me as I jumped into it, sinking to its depth away from the world. Finally feeling peaceful. Alone but peaceful.

"Hasan?"

I fluttered my eyes open.

"Ma's awake", with that Yousuf disappeared telling me that he was going to get the meds. He didn't mention my mother wanting to see me. She probably wouldn't want to see me. I dragged my feet to the room. She laid on her bed. For once she seemed relaxed. As I stood there, I thought of how hard it must've been to mother supporting her two sons., when her beloved husband died suddenly. My parents were utterly in love with each other. They were not the perfect couple, of course they had arguments, but my papa always gave his undivided attention to my ma.

"Hasan.", my mother's voice was raspy as she signalled me to go near her. Suddenly I felt my feet glued to where I was standing, but I moved forward. I sat in the chair beside her bed. "How are you feeling?", she asked me. I should be asking that to her, but mother figures were always selfless.

"Better". Lie.

"What about you? Do you feel tired?"

"I'll be fine, beta. I just want the best for you. I'm afraid I will have to leave eventually. I never thought I'd be joining your papa so soon."

"Shhh ma. You're fine. You'll be living to tell your love stories to your grandchildren. Don't you dare talk like that again. Okay?"

She nodded.  A ghost of a smile playing on her lips. How I wish I wanted a permanent smile on her lips. I stood up with a newfound courage and determination. I don't know how it appeared out of thin air..

"Now, I'm going to tuck you in your bed and you're going to sleep like the baby you are", I said trying not to smile.

"Okay papa", she laughed.

She closed her eyes with a little smile. Soon her breathing was relaxed.

"I love you, ma", I whispered as I kissed her forehead gently and walked out of the room.

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"Room service madam", I announced before entering the room. My mother was leaning against her bedpost reading the newspaper. She smiled as soon as she saw me. I placed the breakfast on her table and said, "That'll be 100 rupees ma'am."

"Yeah, whatever, sir", my mother laughed. I laughed along. Did it feel nice to laugh after God-knows-how-long? Or to see my mother laugh? Or both? I shrugged it off as I sat on her bed.

"Well, what do we have here?", my mother asked eagerly looking at the food on her plate. She gasped suddenly as I looked up from the newspaper I was reading.

"You cooked! Who are you and what did you do to my son?!"

"Shush, ma. You don't have to be so loud early in the morning."

"Uh sorry. But you cooke-"

"Will you start eating?"

She huffed and took the spoon and shoved it into her mouth.

"Mmmmmm. Hasan, this tastes so good"

"Don't be kidding me"

"I'm serious. No wonder you inherited your papa's cooking skills"

I grinned. My papa was good at freaking everything. It was so unfair.

"Why, Thank you, my lady"

I placed a glass of water near my mother's bed and told her to call me if she needed anything. I walked out and the sky was very clear like my mind.
I may not have the answers to my questions but I'm not going to find them if I didn't start searching. Simply worrying for the current state is getting me nowhere.

My life was a merry-go-round. Its time to go out and live. If my papa was here he would've wanted me to live. So I was going to do that. Its time my life was a little colourful. It didn't matter even if I'm going to do the same thing I did everyday. The change is within me. All the while I blamed others for making my life empty, when I can fill it with happiness.

I'm not going to waste any time finding it now. I took the list of items I needed to buy and headed to the store. It was good to happy for a while. That's why they say,

Better late than never

Annoying Author's Space:

Yellow there! Thank you for reading. Seriously, I need to improve my writing skills. Please leave a comment. You'll have a great day!!