The Shy Boy and the Girl in the Green Dress

Chapter Two - The Cookie Day

Chapter Two – The Cookie Day

“What are you talking about?” I asked Blake, a little shocked and a little mad too.

“Hey! Why are you pushing me?” Blake whined. Sure, I had pushed him but he deserved it.

Blake wasn’t the new kid anymore. After two years of sharing my class, and hanging out with Alex. Daphnee, Vanessa and I, he was now a full fledge member of our little gang. Alex was Papa Bear, Daph was Mama Bear, I was Baby Bear, Van was Goldilocks and Blake was Shy Bear. Of course, as Blake mentioned often, there weren’t four bears in that story—only three—but after our first meeting, being shy had stuck with him. If he had to be a bear, he had to be a shy one.

Even if we were all friends though, I always felt a little more possessive about him. I had talked with him first. I had became friends with him first. If he had to name a best friend, I wanted it to be me. The idea of being his girlfriend had long been put on the shelves. Blake obviously only wanted to be my friend and that was okay. I liked having friends. And I didn’t care what people said about boyfriends. Best friends were the coolest thing, not boyfriends, and I had four best friends.

While Blake usually played with us during recess, sometimes he liked to go back to his spot beside the school to read a book. I rarely let him hang out by himself though, and that’s why today I had ended up sitting beside him and we had ended up talking about his brother again.

He was always sad when he talked about his brother. Maybe he should stopped talking about him. But then, he did seem like he wanted to talk about him, and if that was what he wanted, I would listen. I just didn’t like him being sad.

“I’m pushing you because you’re being stupid,” I told my friend. “You didn’t kill your brother. It was an accident. And accident. Do you want me to spell that word for you? I’m pretty good at spelling.”

And it was true. I was good at spelling and it was an accident. His brother died in a car accident, on his way to an exposition Blake wanted to see. He took the blame for it. I didn’t understand why he kept saying he had killed his brother. The first time he had said that to me I had been really shocked. I thought he meant it literally and simply couldn’t imagine Blake killing someone. He was too sweet and quiet to hurt anyone.

“He wouldn’t have been in the car if it hadn’t been for me,” he answered, staring at the pebbles on the ground.

I pulled at the sleeve of his shirt to get his attention. “Listen to me. Unless you were the one driving the car that hit the one your brother was in and unless you’re the one who forced your brother to go back in the car to try to save the driver, then it wasn’t your fault.” I could see Blake didn’t want to believe me, but maybe repeating this over and over again would help him remember and actually believe it. I knew repeating my spelling words had helped me get better. “He didn’t die because you made join you, he died because he tried to save a life. Don’t disrespect his selfless act because you want to like the pity.” Disrespect and selfless were two words I had learned from one of the books Blake had landed me. I was pretty proud of using them.

“I don’t like the pity,” Blake replied, a little offended.

“Then stop looking for it.” I pressed. “You did nothing wrong. Losing your brother is already bad enough, you don’t need to put more weight on your shoulders by taking the blame for his death.”

“You’ll need more than cookies to convince me of that,” Blake said and took a bite from one of the chocolate chip cookies I had brought him. Blake never cooked anything with his Mom, so he didn’t know how to. My Mom always showed me when she cooked so I learned how to make cookies because of her. Of course, when I decided to make cookies yesterday before she came back from work, and when she saw the mess I had made in the kitchen when she arrived I had been in big trouble. But it was all worth it in the end because Blake loved my cookies.

I was still holding on this his sleeve, but it was more in a comforting matter now, like I was holding on to him. “Your brother wouldn’t want you to beat yourself over this. You parents certainly wouldn’t either. I wonder what they’d say if I told them you blamed yourself this much.”

Now, Blake looked really worried. “Don’t talk about it to my parents.”

“Then don’t take the blame for something you had no power over.” I pressed. “I get that you like to take responsibility for everything but you don’t need too. We’re just thirteen. You can’t drive a car so you certainly can’t take the blame for the accident.”

“Maybe you should become a lawyer when we get older,” Blake said, acknowledging that this argument was over. He wasn’t going to win against me about this. He had nothing to do with his brother’s death.

“My Mom’s a lawyer. I’m couldn’t be one.” I shook my head thinking about all the time Mom wasn’t home because she was working. I didn’t want to do that.

“Hey, look,” Blake dug in his backpack and brought out a small canvas that fitted in my palm. “I made this for you.” There was an adorable little mouse painted on it. “I remembered you saying your Mom said she didn’t want you to have a mouse in the house, but I don’t think she’ll say anything about this one.”

Blake smiled at me, his dimples showing and I smiled back. I was glad that my friend was back. He wasn’t the same when he talked about his brother.

“Thank you so much! I love it!” I told him, smiling hugely and then I hugged him, trying to smell him quickly, holding on to him a little too long.

Blake hugged me back, though hesitantly, the way he always did, but that was okay.

Blake might never be my boyfriend, but he’d always be my best friend.