Its all about the balance. theres the salt and the pepper, the sweet and the spicy, the good and the bad. I dont really like those words too much though, "good and bad". They are too general. how's my outfit look? good. How does it taste? good. How was your day at school? good.
Compliments are always nice, because they make you feel good. they highlight your good points. Then you do one thing and maybe a flash of your flaws shine through. Then your mind starts spinning and self-conciousness sets in and maybe you behave diffrently for a little bit. But weather it runs in the paint or not, we all have flaws.
They come in diffrent forms. Sitting here in the food court of a mall, i just like to observe. That blue black haired girl is stunning to the upmost degree. Her hair flows without effort, the model status body and the looks of a person that is genuinly happy. Although there is something to her, to balance out the rest of it. Perhaps how she is always looking over her shoulder at the man in the corner. Dark windbreaker, dirty sperries and a hat flopping off to the side from the rain outside. He dripps a bit, and he stares at her. The blue black haired girl. She could be the paranoid type. She could be an explosive, mean, impulsive person; she could be about as smart as a rock. Or perhaps she has a nice, sensual, one-of-a-kind person. Something will get her though. Maybe an illness that could turn terminal, an abusivefamily environment, the possibilities are endless. Spiritual, physicall, mental, situational, emotional; those are the major areas where balance occurs for the average person.
not that i want bad things to happen to people, but bad theings happen to good people and vice versa. It the blance.
"okay, its time for your birthday shake!" Max said. Audry glanced up from her phone and caught his eye. "Oh you guys are so sweet, i love you guys." Audrey
said slightly embarrassed. Max sat dowb with the tray of strawberry chcik-fil-a quality milkshakes. Max is the greatest friend i have ever had. He laughs at my jokes, i laugh at his, were like each others safety nets on the tight rope of life. You'll have to excuse me in not all that good at analogies and figures of speech.
Audry is a very nice girl. Blond hair green eyed beauty who loves max with a burning passion, and he reaturns the feelings. She is an optimist at the finest. I've known of her for about two years because of school and everything but i have only ever known her known her for a few months. In October Max decided to ask her to the fund raiser carnival our highschool was holding. It sort of snowballed from there and its been one hell of a ride for them. Naturally i third wheel on a few of their activities mainly because my only friend is Max, and i never get out of the house. I think of it more as a pitty thing for them bringing me along all the time. But i dont want people-
"Eva! Are you even listening to me?" Audry snapps
"oh what" i say, dragging on the sentance looking around.
"Give her a break Audry" Max says calmly "she was just in a day dream. Gaining conciousness from a train of thought."
I looked over and smiled at Max. As kids we grew up together and sharkboy and lava girl was one of our favorite movies. There was a train of thought in the film that would crash and the peole would sceam, but they beat George Lopez anyhow.
"as i was saying before..." Audry said "Eva that guy over there is totally looking at you."
I turned my head a tad to the side. A brunette guy who appeared 15 or 16ish. Surfer boy hair and the typicall guy look.
"No." I said bluntly.
"What!" max said in the way where he whips his neck and his voice is the frequency of a dog whistle.
"Come on why dont you give him a chance." Audry said with a slight whiney tone in his voice. "He isnt ugly, and he likes looking at you!"
"eh." I say. "Its not that i like somebody else or am on an 'anti-boy' strike, I have just found out at our age it seems synthetic. Well except for you guys."
"Eva you cant just keep waving away the few boys that want to actually get to know you."Max explains. He seems like he is trying to help me through a though life situation. But there is no situation here.
"Just the thought of anybody liking me at all, seems utterly revolting. Im not hitting myself in the head for being ugly or anything i just dont see what that could see in me."
"Your kidding me right? You have curves, an attractive facial make up and you are a really nice, funny person." Audry says.
"I know myself all too well to know that the flaws i have are the kind that no guy would 'ignore' to be with me. Im hairy all over, i have discharge all the time, and i'm a blunt obvious realist and sometimes people just dont like things without a sugar coating." I said it calmly. Its a fact, not a complaint or a cry for help.
"now Eva," starts Max "you remember that time you forced me to watch an into the universe documentary program with you that Steven Hawking hosted? Well i remember his analogy about how everything can come from nothing. There is a barren plane of dirt and a man wants to make a hill. He Digs his shovel in the ground and starts digging, as the hill grown, the hole where he is getting the dirt from grows too. When he is finnished, he has a great big mound of dirt, but an equally sized hole in the ground. For every grain of dirt, there was an empty space a grain of dirt could have fit in. They canceled each other out. So you have good, and bad. Then those two make a sum that creates a person. A Great person you turned out to be too, and to think there is still more to come! Now could you do us a favor and say hi to one boy to show us you arent that antisocial?"
I took what he said to heart, "but then i would be lying too you." i say as i sip my milkshake i have barely touched.
"Oh Eva just do it, please' Audry beggs.
"Fine." I say slightly aggitated. So i get up and try not to drag my feet over there. I sit down at the empty chair next to him. His friends jump from my abrupt ness. He looks me up and down.
"Hi" he says.
"hi" i say back.
"thanks for not saying 'hey' it too over used and carries the subtext of the cliche teenager."
"says one who looks like like the cliche teenager"
"Well you and i should hang out sometime so i can prove you wrong"
"when"
"next saturday here at five"
"maybe"
"i hope so"
Walking away i feel strangly, light hearted. He seems more intelectual than i thought. Somebody would probably meet him and say it was a cocky way to talk. And he was a douche for expecting a girl to go along as planed. But Ive seen his type before. I look at it in a mirror everyday.
This could be the start of something... good. But then life will get me back with some bad later
Or maybe it already has.
