Impulse
101 Days Before
It was the winter of 2001, the air was so cold it was mutilating my body temperature. My sight was a distraction for the cold that was attacking my skin as my eyes were so fixated on the boy with his body pressed up against a police vehicle. I was either so focused on the boys good looks or the fact that it was my own father arresting him. His dark curly hair was covering his face so I couldn’t really tell if my father was applying the handcuffs so tight that he was inflicting pain onto the boy because usually when I see my dad placing people under arrest that is always what gets me laughing. My mind was questioning the situation as always, when I see people in trouble with the law, I always question what got them there and what driven their desire to commit a crime. However as I watched my dad uncuff him, I knew that was just a little warning to scare him from ever getting into further trouble with the law, my dad does that sometimes. Although I knew that didn’t scare the pale figure as his face looked so lifeless. I wanted to make my way over there when my dad had finally left him alone, but approaching boys was never my best quality. As my dad drove off, I worked up enough courage to walk over even though with every step I took, my feeling of regret increased. Maybe I could just walk past and see if he attempts to catch my attention but if that doesn't happen, I’ll look silly turning back. He was leaning against the wall now with a cigarette alight in his mouth. The cigarette smoke and the cold air entwined creating a unique smell that got stronger as I got closer. Even though I don’t smoke and never had in my life, I figured that this would be a good conversation starter or enough to make him acknowledge my existence.
“You got another one of those things?” I hesitantly asked him.
“I’m never empty and that is because I simply do not share” he replied.
That I was not expecting, now where do I go from here? I expected him to say yes and lend me the substance that quite frankly had the power to kill me and we would go from there.
“But could you not find the decency to share, as I have ran out of my own supply?”
“I guess I could make the exception because I feel quite sorry for you, I mean you must be freezing, your face is turning blue!”
I held my hands up above my face, now I guess the colour of embarrassment would wear out the blueness in my face or what if they turned my face purple? Oh dear lord.
“If your going to cover your face, how do you expect to smoke this?” he said to me, later complimented by a smirk.
“Well hand it over then...” I replied as I removed my hands away from my face. I was honestly terrified to hold the thing never mind actually smoking it, that was another whole level of fear. Never mind the fact that the smell of nicotine would cling to my dress also! He flipped open the packet of cigarettes and delicately removed one from the pack and handed it over to me.
“If I don't have my pack on me, do you really expect me to have a light on me too?” He sighed and took the cigarette off me and lit it for me and then handed it back.
I slowly lifted it up to my mouth and suddenly as I inhaled the demon, it attacked my pristine lungs violently which made me almost choke to death. He started laughing at me quietly as he watched me having a coughing fit.
“I guess you’ve never smoked one of these before then” He said whilst controlling his laughter. I look up at him annoyed as my hazel hair was dangling in front of my face. He pulled the piece of hair away from my face and began to stare.
“What are you staring at?” I asked him.
“Nothing, i’m just interested in you. I mean a girl who doesn’t even smoke has never came up to me looking for a cigarette in hope that it will start a conversation. Your desperation interests me. What’s your name?” He responded.
“Excuse me? My desperation? I’m certainly not desperate, I was looking to do something I never have before, I wanted to feel rebellious.”
“You were searching for a way to rebel, god that’s a little more embarrassing. You never answered my question.”
“Well maybe I don’t want to reward you with the answer” I said, giving off a quite snotty attitude towards him.
“Just give me your name, I’m Matthew. See, what is so hard about that?”
I stared at the piece of hair that kept falling in aim to block his eye sight.
“Okay... My name is Jane” He looked puzzled as I spoke.
“Wow, I thought a beautiful girl like you would have a more, you know... Unique name, I wouldn't expect your beauty to be held together by a name so common” He inhaled the last of his cigarette, I watched the ashes fall to ground. “You’re very observant Jane, did you know that?”
I quickly snapped back into reality and took my eyes away from the falling poison.
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Yes it’s kind of annoying” He laughed, I didn’t understand why he was laughing because that wasn’t funny and I felt quite insulted.
“Oh, I guess I’m sorry for being observant then”
“Don’t do that, don’t apologize for nothing.”
“You just said i’m annoying you, I think that requires an apology and an exit...” I began to leave the failure that was this approach although a part of me wanted to stay but I guess that part was only driven by my attraction towards his incredibly good looks. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to him aggressively, to be honest I wanted to squeal he was that aggressive but I contained it.
“I never wanted you to leave, let me take you to the movies later, I want to spend more time with you, you’re interesting.” Our faces were extremely close by this point and I wasnt sure if i entirely liked it, but what I did know is that I wanted to spend more time with him because he infatuated me and I liked him...
“Okay sure.”
