Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
BUTTERFLY —
With a small smile, I tried to assure Yoongi hyung multiple times that everything was okay, that everything was over now.
But deep down, even I couldn't hide the disappointment. That he even dared to think such a thought as leaving his best friend alone in a world where nobody gave a fuck about my feelings.
But I also felt like the one to blame. Because I wasn't fully unaware of the situation. I did know a lot. But I just couldn't help but ignore it and try to not bother myself with it.
My eyes flickered between the evenly beeping machine and hyung, who seemed to be fast asleep. I caressed his skinny fingers in mine as I tried to rinse my thoughts.
My head was a mess. My life was a mess. Everything seemed so good. Too good, to be true. So of course I caught my girlfriend whom I loved so dearly from the feels of my heart right in a action of cheating, went home to seek love and comfort against my best friend's chest, but caught him right in the action of committing suicide.
What did I do to deserve this? Neglect truths. Accept cheap lies. Choose lovely lies over painful truths. Living life in a small mindedness.
I thought about Mika. She was so beautiful. She danced so smoothly, she was so lovely. Maybe it was me who couldn't give her what she deserved? No.
No matter what. No matter how much I love her. No matter how much she apologises. She was in the wrong. I wasn't.
Hearing a small mewl leave the body in front of me, I was caught of guard in my small dilemma. I quickly pushed my thoughts away as I stared at Yoongi who scrunched his nose up, pouting with his lips but his eyes still closed.
That was when I noticed that I was grasping his hand so hard, so hard that it had turned pale.
I gasped as I let go and watched his features turn normal again. Small breaths left his small nose as his chest rose in deep breaths.
He was so cute. My eyes landed on his lips. They were no longer pouting, which I groaned mentally about. They looked really biteable when they were pouty, but I wasn't really complaining now either. He looked good no matter what– I let go of his body completely as I slapped myself five times before muttering stupids to myself as I left the room in a haste.
When I was outside of the room, I grabbed my crazily beating heart as my blood rush up to my face and I turned red. I pulled on my hair as I felt confused with all my thoughts and actions.
Why did I think about him like that? That he was cute? Good looking? Kissable? I've gotten out of my mind.
It was me from the beginning that rejected him. It was me who broke his fragile heart. It was me who became his infamous first love. Everyone he talked to would always ask about his self composition. He likes to write songs. He even had intentions in sending in the lyrics to some company and earn something out of it.
Anyways. He would always stare at me sadly before telling them the story about us. That he went through a lot mentally. What they never got to know was that his first love was a boy, me.
They never got to know that he was gay, homosexual. That he felt nasty when I rejected him by saying that I only saw him as a best friend, which I thought I did.
I even had a girlfriend. So why was I feeling like this now? Why was I feeling so flustered?
After calming myself down, I opened the door and slouched into the room again, now meeting an empty bed.
I turned my head in panic towards the window, expecting to see a big window, opened and traces of Yoongi's attempt at running away.
But my panic turned into a more, weird one, when I realised that Yoongi was standing there shirtless, cheeks red as both of us stared at each other flustered. His eyes widened.
and I swear,
I felt butterflies in my belly.
—
T
E
A
R
—
Fourteenth chapter! Sope, yeyyyy. Finally a chapter where I didn't cry as much. But don't worry, tears will find their way soon :)))
