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#ANXIETY - Anna's story.

Burr. Burr. my mini fridge hummed in the corner of my room. Tip. Tap. my nimble fingers pressed down upon my mac's keyboard. looking around my room you would think i lead a privileged life, which kept me in a thick layer of bubble wrap, giving me protection from the outside world. How wrong. Everyday a bubble of my protection popped. slowly, ever so slowly; I lost a piece of safety. the outside world pecked at me, wearing away until i was an unstable wreck. I looked comfy. However i ensure you I'm anything but that. Im in a continuous loop of misfortune and hate only to never be presented with hope- just fatality. 

"… And how does that make you feel?" Spoke Ms Smith

"…" I turned away from her dropping my head opening my mouth, although still silent.

"well think our meeting is over." Irritated she walked across and opened the office door and gave a gesture to the outside visitors- My parents.

With a look of frustration, they looked at Ms Smith passive aggressively. I stayed silent as they rambled on, expressing their disappointment towards my expensive therapy sessions. I don't talk much, I never talk much anymore, all and every fragment of life i ever had drained out of my system years ago. Thank you secondary school; you're a delight. 

Soon i was asked to leave. Private conversation time. ' #AMAZING ' so the ratchet girls at my school would say. ' #NO FILTER ' to their narcissistic life. 

I hated them. Just because their sugar mommas appeared on 'The Defunctionate Housewives of Snob city.' Gave them a premium pass to being a grade A Hole.

They are selfish mares, who spend more time taking selfies and flashing boys then taking time to help real causes- which would be to much of their 'precious time' #annoying.

I detest them. I walk through school with my boney weak feet dragging behind me, my sore arms tucked away in my jumper and my hair covering my drooping face. Everyone is watching. Teachers have been told to watch me, whereas the savages just do it cause i'm an easy target. They are the top predators and I am the prey, stuck in the amazon of obliterating hell. I can not lose their focus, what do they want from me.

First lesson their staring, talking, stabbing and slicing at me. Every Time their knifes go deeper into my once innocent soul. I can do that myself. 

I have a five minute break until my next lesson, no plans- as usual. Therefore i retreated to my little spot underneath a tree behind the bushes on my own island free of judgemental attention ~£@*&$. i reached into my black ashed covered, Nirvana, rucksack. Gently i pulled out my Ipod and played it on shuffle, I just sat there, lost in lyrical soothers- Fallen Angels.

I heard a voice. I heard footsteps. They were getting closer. Quickly i slouched against the parasite infested oak; please dont find me. My movement only made me more noticeable to the intruder i tried to ignore it. There was a calm voice.

“Black veil brides” acknowledging the correct answer i turned my head towards the direction of noise. There in front of me was a dirty blonde, tall, different girl. Not an obnoxious @$*&! like the scum i came across earlier, more of an Alternative scene girl, who must really pity me to talk to me so considerately- strange. #Weird. 

Without my consent the punk teen sat in front of me unplugged one of my earphones and slotted the illuminous orange speaker into her ear. Shocked at her blunt actions i stopped in a daze meanwhile she switched my song to ‘Knives and Pens.’ Still black veil brides but this song was much better i often thought that this song was speaking directly at me. Often i would put this song on loop while i would cry myself to sleep. It really spoke to me. 

It spoke to me so much i spoke back, i fell into conversation who would have guessed it Anna Malt made a friend, at least i think she was. ring, ring. The bell calling me to my doom called when she pulled me back down.

“Cameras can't see us here and i have maths next so I'm planning to stay here, care to join me?” she asked raising an eyebrow inquisitively as if this was the one question which affected her decision of me, am i cool enough?

“I guess ill stay, forgot my science homework anyway.” I finally replied slightly hesitant. 

“ Nice i'm Cara, ur Anna M aint ya?” she said imitating a chavvy voice. I 

 nodded, while questions and curiosity poured into my head. Like ‘I'm not important?’. ‘How does she know my name’ and ‘Is she a stalker’ I came to the conclusion she probably wasn't a stalker and it was just a coincidence about the name situation. 

Me and Cara spent a lot of time together since starting secondary school i had no friends till now. Was it my medication finally working? all i know is that i got praise from my school counsellor in my improved attitude and felt myself being watched less and people talked to me more, everything was fine; Even my body was healing.

Burr. Burr. my mini fridge hummed in the corner of my room. Tip. Tap. my fingers pressed down upon my mac's keyboard, chatting to my quirky friends on Headbook. looking around my room you would think i lead a privileged life, which kept me in a thick layer of bubble wrap, giving me protection from the outside world. How right. Everyday I gained a bubble of my protection, from my loving friends and family. Rapidly, ever so fast; I obtained a rainbow of safety. the outside world smiled at me, with a warm glow. I looked comfy, and i ensure i am. Im in a continuous loop of love and life only to never be presented with sadness- just friendship.

"how does that make you feel?" Spoke Ms Smith with a glowing smile on her face.

"Happy" I smiled back vibrant and full of life. 

#JOY