Stories For The Hopeless Romantic

Seven ~ Smile

Mess is Mine by Vance Joy

Alexander watched as his boyfriend rolled down the aisle on the back of a shopping cart, Kingsley's tall, slender body hunched over to keep himself from falling off the back. Every so often he would put his foot down to stop in front of a tile selection, or push off to keep going.

Alexander was happy to be out with K, especially in a store, with other people, on a Saturday afternoon. This was not a situation that Kingsley would normally put himself in, and it gave Alex hope that maybe, just maybe, he was getting better.

He thought this especially when he watched Kingsley stop his cart and ask an employee where to find something. He could see Kingsley's forehead crinkle and his fist clench, for sure. But he was asking, which was important. And once they were on their way again, the smile bounced back onto his face, wide and glowing.

That smile had been one of the first things to draw Alexander to Kingsley. It had pushed him along to falling in love, and it was one of the reasons that Alex always came back to Kingsley, was always there for him.

Because even on K's worst days, that smile, sometimes small and weak, and sometimes strained and watery, reminded Alex of the other half of the man he loved. Not the anxious, depressed half, but the playful, exuberant half that liked to go on hikes and play pranks.

Just last week, Alexander had awoken to an empty bed and a ringing phone that directed him to the emergency room parking lot. In that parking lot, in Alex's car, had been a shaking, sobbing, panting Kingsley, who had woken up terrified that his headache had been an aneurysm and had driven himself to the emergency room and broke down before he could walk through the sliding doors.

And it was one of those times where Alexander didn't quite know what he was doing, or how to fix the problem. But then he told a painful, painful joke that made the crying K smile for a second, and the smile brought him back to his boyfriend, and the fact that he loved him very, very much, and it told him that the best thing he could do was sit there, and then maybe drive home and go to bed, all the while staying quiet and listening to see if there was more he could do.

The day after that, Kingsley woke up and went for his normal morning run and suggested they go shopping for kitchen tiles. And here they were, in a Lowe's hardware store on a Saturday in April at 3:00pm, and Kingsley was smiling and laughing and not shaking or overthinking.

Alex was pushing his boyfriend on the back of a shopping cart filled with tile samples instead of carrying his much bigger body away from the computer and the work and the research and into bed.

Kingsley was asking store employees were he could find countertops instead of standing in the corner of a work party staring at his phone so no one would approach him.

Alexander was reprimanding him for only picking the most expensive patterns instead of reassuring him that he still loved him.

And even though Kingsley didn't and wouldn't ever truly understand it, Alexander had never felt more secure in his helping with the next valley, because he finally knew that he loved K just the same whether he was climbing a mountain or hurtling down a hill.