I can't leave you alone.

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The weather was getting warmer, no more cozy blanket snuggling during the cool Spring evenings watching television or Netflix. It was too hot for blankets, too hot for sweatpants even with the fans on. 

The night is young and we had plenty of fire wood and marshmallows to toast. It was getting cooler and cooler outside. Beloved and I took to the outdoors quietly setting up and starting the fire. 

Now there's coziness, wrapped up in her arms as she was wrapped up in mine on the swing gently rocking with the breeze, a bonfire so nice and cozy with the cool darkened outdoors, the sounds of life, the sounds of love and life, we ate our fill of marshmallows then closed the bag putting an end to that chapter. 

Cozy forehead kisses and tender nuzzling of each other's necks, we had fallen in love during the Winter but she lived so far away I could not expect her to drive so far into the snow to just see me. 

We snuggled close and rested our heads on each other, my head on her shoulder but her head leaned against mine, her curls tickling my forehead as we laid together. But the only thing I felt was sadness, Summer was here already and by perhaps October or November it may snow and she would be stuck in New York while I was here alone.

She would laugh and tell me that's months away and it was only May but that's okay, I worry for us both. I'm a worry wort, it's what I do. 

We kissed for the first time at that fire, and whispered I love you so many times it was so sweet we got teeth aches, but as we got so cozy and close it was amazing, it was wonderful. The moon had never seemed so bright, it was like a bright spotlight to showcase our love. 

The trees around us were dark shadows to hide our secrets of that night, the hickeys and delighted moans from bites. When the fire went out we both cowered and hid from the other people inside hiding our love ridden throats, she stayed the night in my bed, under my sheets, with the lazy fan on next to me, her hair splayed out like thick black ink on a page writing cursive in the hazy low light of my vintage lamp. 

She slept with the lights on, while I did not, all I could do was stare and gently brush hair out of her face and spill it onto the pillow behind her head, she was like a dreaming goddess who had affiliated with the ephemeral goddess of passion and love on a heated night, her eyes so peacefully closed yet her throat had proved what exactly was helping her dream so peacefully. 

A light loving smile tugged at her lips as she took deep shallow breaths in her sleep, her favorite attire tank top and panties curled up on her side facing me. I tasted caramel on my tongue, a sharp burn in me wanted more of her, I craved her everything however I knew better than to disturb the undisturbed. 

I love this girl more than I could ever love myself. 

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