𝑺𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑺 𝑳𝑰𝑳 𝑷𝑬𝑬𝑷

★𝑁𝐼𝑁𝐸★︎

☹︎𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙐𝙎☹︎︎

when i woke up i was wrapped up in peep's arms. he was slightly snoring while i looked around his room. i didnt feel like getting up but i needed to pee. i unraveled myself and went to the bathroom.

doing my business and washing my hands, i looked up into the mirror. the hickeys from allison was finally fading almost gone. my eyes had dark circles and i looked straight fucked.

i pushed strands of hair out of my face and tried to at least fix what i could before going back out. i came back out to a quiet house and made my way back to peep's room.

he was sat up on the bed rubbing his eyes and looking around the room until his eyes landed on me. i instantly smiled leaning against the doorway.

"i thought you left me again." he said and i lightly chuckled.

"not this time, baby." i said walking over to him, he pulled me down onto his lap holding my waist.

"dont ever leave me." he said looking me into my eyes, i smiled. running my fingers in the back of his hair.

"i wont." i said, we laid on the bed while peep got up.

"i'll be right back." i nodded and played on my phone, i had messages from allison and from an unknown number.

𝙐𝙉𝙆𝙉𝙊𝙒𝙉
u know i really loved u & u threw it all away for a wannabe rapper peep doesnt deserve u he doesnt love u like i do

𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙐𝙎
ayo who tf is this ?

𝙐𝙉𝙆𝙉𝙊𝙒𝙉
of course u dont even remember my number . that hurts venus

𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙐𝙎
if this is who i think it is lmfao dawg you funny af

peep came back into the bedroom and laid down on me so his head was on my waist. my phone was blowing up, peep looked at me funny.

"dont worry about it, babe." i said, he laid his head down again turning on the tv.

𝙐𝙉𝙆𝙉𝙊𝙒𝙉
whats funny is the games u play

𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙐𝙎:
yuhhh miss me w alla that

i laid my phone down turning it on mute. peep picked a movie for us to watch. i zoned out until i realized peep was laughing. i felt him rub circles on my hand, he looked down at my hand and sorta frowned.

"you dont make me feel so alone." he said looking at me, that made me feel some type of good. i didn't know how to react to that. how could i? when all i've even know was loneliness.

"thats good." was all i said. peep smiled slightly and continued watching the movie. i looked at the scars on my hand.

𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦

i've had this carved since i was sixteen. on my sixteenth birthday i spent it alone in my room with a handful of pills and razors to myself. myself. alone. the only feeling i've ever felt. my hand twitched causing me to face forward to the tv.

peep continued watching tv not noticing my negative reaction to my thoughts. flashbacks really. i dreaded flashbacks. i was always lost in my mind. could never escape actually. i was always stuck. trapped.

𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘣𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘶𝘴.

as i laid in bed high out of my mind. blood dripping from my arms. i was alone. something i've already realized. this was my first foster family. they don't want me, i've come to realize that too.

my door was locked as i stared up into the blurry ceiling. i could feel my heart beat. it felt like time had stopped. like it was only me in the universe. my family was out. i don't know when they'll be back.

i looked at the one xanax bar laying in between my fingers. i slowly clutched my hand bringing it to my eyesight. such a little thing that could make my pain go away. i gulped it closing my eyes.

𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘣𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘶𝘴.

i looked at peep who was staring at me. i blinked a couple times before realizing where i was at.

"venus, are you okay?" peep asked, i looked at him nodding.

"i-i i just needa breathe." i jumped up and sprinted out the front door. the breeze hit me as i sat on the curb. the worse type of pain is the pain that ruins your perfect moment with someone. i rested my head on my hands.

i felt hands on my shoulders causing me to look up. peep sat down beside me. its as if he knew. he pulled me into him resting my head on his shoulder.

"its okay, venus," peep's voice made things better. i closed my eyes again almost wincing from the hurtful memory. i didnt wanna answer, plus i had no reaction to that. "look at the stars, venus."

i looked up. the sky was covered. peep was smiling. he mustve loved looking at the stars. funny how we both be star shopping. i was silent again. caught up in the moment. i looked at peep as he twisted his neck looking at the stars with a smile.

"peep," i said softly, he looked at me concern in his facial expression. "you dont make me feel as alone either." he smiled again, and i had felt lighter. the weight in my stomach had lifted. peep's hand found his way to my face caressing my cheek with his thumb.

"i'll never make you feel alone." he said before leaning into kiss my lips. his lips felt nice. for once it felt nice to have something other than drugs and liquor at my lips. i held his face kissing him back.

he stood up holding out his hand for me. i looked up at him before taking his hand and going back into the house. we climbed into bed again and resumed what we were watching. peep wrapped us up in a blanket while holding onto my hand.

i had looked over at him. and for the first time in a long time. i had finally felt safe.