Going back to the time when my mother was still alive, I can still vividly remember how passionate and dedicated she was in teaching her students.
She's very enthusiastic and very patient.
She really knew well how to deal with kids who had different behaviors inside the classroom.
I saw and felt the burning passion and overflowing dedication in her whenever she teaches.
She really loved what she's doing, and I could see it through her soulful eyes and radiant smiles.
At that moment, my ambitious heart desired to become like Mom, a teacher.
I wanted to share my knowledge too to other kids.
I wanted to guide them in learning new things.
I wanted to influence them with the good character.
I wanted to become one of the reasons why those kids smile whenever they have learned something new, and also be one of the reasons to their unbeatable eagerness to go to school everyday.
I wanted to become part of their lives and, love them as much as I love seeing my Mom the way she was back then, happy and alive.
There were many times when I woke up around midnight or dawn, there she was at the table, making her lesson plan religiously.
I used to tell her, "Mom, why are you still awake? You should go grab some sleep", but there she goes, being her usual self, very diligent and absorbed in what she's doing. She would just nod, and told me to go back to sleep.
When I was in grade six until High school, at the end of every grading period, Mom would ask me to help her assist in computing the grades of her students, help her in cleaning and decorating the classroom, and many more.
At that time, I realized that aside from making lesson plans and instructional materials, Mom had a lot of things to do.
She had many responsibilities.
She had to multitask from being a teacher to a janitress, an interior designer, a guidance counselor, a disciplinarian, and a mother whether at home, or at school.
I realized that becoming a teacher is never easy.
It's so tough and very challenging.
It's more than a mere job.
However, the willingness, passion, devotion, and commitment of a teacher to serve makes her a noble human being.
Most of the time, a teacher needs to sacrifice her supposedly quality time for her family just to meet the deadlines and expectation of the society.
Thus, the pressure is really real.
Teaching requires a lot of patience and perseverance, determination and hard work, diligence and discipline, understanding and kindness, passion and dedication, and a lot more virtues in the vast, indefinite universe that you could ever imagine.
Learning all of these things back then made me waver, and doubted myself by asking,
"Do I really want to become a teacher?
Can I endure all those torturing challenges that await me? Crap, I'm starting to have cold feet. Should I really become one? Am I really fit to become one? Why do I want to become a teacher?"
That's it! I just have to find again the reason why I wanted to become a teacher.
I will find it anywhere even if it would take me to search in every neuron of my brain cells.
I need to relive those meaningful memories with Mom and the kids.
The extreme desire of wanting to feel that feeling again... the feeling of satisfaction.
I want to see again the genuine smiles of the kids that were painted on their innocent faces whenever they have learned something new.
I want to hear again the cheerful laughs that came from their cute little mouths.
The overwhelming affection and respect that they had shown to one another.
The strong bond of being like a family, a loving mother to her most precious gems, her children.
That wonderful and priceless feeling that I used to feel was being misplaced somewhere around the corner of my heart.
I know it's still there, patiently waiting to be found.
