perusethereader chronicles

perusethereader

        As Regan eyed the computer screen, her heart pounded against her ribcage with anxious excitement. Though it hadn't appeared in her subscription feed yet, she knew Jesse would be posting a video-their video- soon. He'd promised her and jessethereader didn't break his promises.

        She unconsciously tapped her coral-painted nails (which were certainly on point today) against the keyboard, creating a steady rhythm that echoed throughout her otherwise quiet room.

        Her mind drifted to BookCon, mere weeks ago, though it felt like months had passed since then. She'd first met Jesse in person at the event. Though the room was ridiculously crowded, Regan had been able to spot him right away. Jesse's blue eyes gleamed as they wrapped each other in a tight embrace, books spilling to the floor in the process. They quickly knelt down to reclaim what was theirs before ravenous fangirls dove for the harder to acquire novels. Both Jesse and Regan had procured a copy of Afterworlds by Scott Westerfeld, their copies were identical. As fate would have it, they reached for the same copy. His fingers brushed her’s as they reached for the book. A shock rocketed up her arm, igniting her cheeks with a nervous flame.

        Jesse chuckled. It was a soft sound, something so perfect it should be considered fictional, and it made Regan's cheeks blaze an even brighter pink. "I believe this is your's," Jesse said grinning, though he was blushing as fiercely as Regan.

        "Umm, yeah I think," she mumbled, suddenly not able to form articulate words. She stood up, smoothing invisible lines in her skirt and looking anywhere but Jesse. Conversations were so much easier over the internet. "Having fun so far?"

        "Oh yeah, tons. Just a bit crowded, ya know?" Jesse replied, catching her eye and not releasing her gaze for a second. Regan's breath caught in her throat as butterflies beat their wings inside her stomach. His eyes seemed to hold the ocean within their circular confinement.

        "Definitely. Too many bodies in one tiny space. But we can't forget, every body has a story." Regan winked, smiling to herself for slipping The Archived's tagline into her answer. Literary references were always fun.

        "Ha, I've been meaning to re-read The Archived-" HE CAUGHT IT! "-soon but I wanted to re-read it with a friend." He got a shy look in his eyes then, and it was his turn not to make eye contact. Out of the corner of her eye, Regan observed his small actions, his minute ticks and habits. One seemed to be twisting the strap of his backpack into oblivion when he was anxious. Was she the one making him nervous? Was it even possible?

        She twisted the toe of her boot into the carpet, suddenly very interested in the laces keeping it on her foot. Regan snuck a glance upward and immediately regretted it. Jesse was staring at her again with a soft expression she couldn't place. Then it hit her.

        She was that friend he wanted to re-read The Archived with.

        A cough broke the awkward silence. "Regan, your boots are positively fabulous but I would love if you'd look up so we can have a conversation."

        Slowly she did what she was told, drawing in a quick breath as she noticed Jesse was mere inches away. She blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "If you mean me, I would love to read The Archived with you. Unless you don't mean me, then I guess that was stupid to say and-"

        A laugh penetrated the air followed by Jesse's ridiculously perfect smile. "I don't know if it's the fact that half of the internet ships us or that you're the most beautiful girl I've ever met, but Regan, I really like you," he whispered with urgency. It made Regan's heart do gymnastics in her chest. "And if this were some google plus comment on one of your videos, 'really' would be bolded. But God Regan, the in real life you is more perfect than I could've ever imagined."

        She forgot how to breathe. Oxygen refused to course through her lungs and it made her head spin. Everything about this situation was strange and wonderful and new. Jesse George, the boy with the piercing blue eyes and the swoon-worthy words a fictional character would be jealous of, had waltzed his way into her heart. And he liked her. Regan Lastname.

        "Wow, um, Jesse I don't know what to say," she began, utterly and completely flustered. Running a hand through her hair, she bit her lip.

        "JUST KISS ALREADY!" someone shouted to her left. Regan's head snapped toward the culprit of the yell, stifling a laugh as she realized it had been Kat from katytastic. Their friends had formed a small crowd, near enough to hear the conversation but still far enough away to create an illusion of privacy.

           Christine, Ariel, Kat, and Liz stared at them with such an intensity Regan felt like she was being analyzed. But what if she WAS being analyzed? Would they convince Jesse to rid himself of his feelings for her?

        In that moment, she did the only logical thing she could think of; she kissed him.

        And now, back in her bedroom, all she could think about was Jesse and how his video still hadn't appeared. Regan refreshed the screen several times, jabbing the enter key with too much force.

        She sighed happily when a new video from jessethereader finally came into sight. It was titled "perusethereader?" Her heart skipped a beat. It was their ship name, dubbed so by most of booktube.

        As the video played, his soft voice filtered through the room. "Hey guys! I'm sure lots of you know about the lovely Regan from PeruseProject, but in case you didn't..." he trailed off, looking up and into the left corner of the screen.

        A new bit of video popped up, vlog style. It was her and Jesse, sitting hip to hip in line for a signing. Their heads were bent together, as if they were so deep in conversation that the bustling world around them didn’t matter.

        Someone spoke from behind the camera. “You guys, I’m filming, you know?”

        Regan smiled, filled with the drunken euphoria of being surrounded by the people she loved. Regular people didn’t get it. They didn’t create bonds with people they were only able to see on the screen. It was wonderful and intense and horrible all at the same time. There was no guarantee you would ever meet these people, and if you did, it was only for a second. That was why she had savored those moments. That moment there with Jesse and his hand twined around hers and Christine, Kat, Liz, Ariel making them laugh so hard their sides ached.

        Back in her bedroom, watching this footage of herself swimming in happiness, Regan’s chest ached with longing. God she missed Jesse.

        She brought her eyes back to the computer screen. “We know Christine,” Regan replied, leaning her head against Jesse’s shoulder, flashing the camera the most genuine smile she’d ever seen cross her own face. At this point during their filming, they had meant to tell the world about their relationship. Somehow, words had failed them.

        But watching this footage back, she could see why no words had escaped her lips. She had been completely distracted by Jesse. His blue eyes descended upon hers and there was no need for explanation. The intensity of their gazes was like no other. All the viewers would understand the unspoken connection the two of them had.

        The perusethereader ship had sailed.