FirstKiss Aftermath

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why did you kiss me back??

The question rang in his mind repeatedly like a church bell striking too close to an eardrum. The surprise flooded him unexpectedly while her slap still stang his cheek. The sudden touch of her lips burned him, not only his lips but every cell of his existence. The fact that Hazan kissed him - was still kissing him went to his head and paralysed him. The quicksand feeling that he had everytime he made eye contact with her returned - this time to swallow him whole.. He forgot everything else. He forgot where they were.  Forgot people could see them kissing in the middle of the plaza gym. As a matter of fact, the time seemed to stop as well, fixing clocks on this particular date and time. That's why he existed in this moment, and in this moment only.

His hands remained in the air on both sides of her body that was now pressed to his... . Where did they belong again? Probably just there where they were floating in the air at the height of her shoulders, since this was a proper gesture for surrendering.

How did she do it? How did she disarm his iron will and well trained reason and provoke him to kiss her only to be rejected by a  sudden slap on his cheek inducing a sharp pain. Not physical pain though. No. That he could handle. But the pain of laying his heart open for her and being rejected - though only for a few seconds. That would leave scars.

Yet before he could investigate the damage done to his heart, she grabbed his coat and pressed her lips on his, raising on her toes and plastering her body to his. He froze. Time froze fixing this kiss in time for all eternity.

His mind went on overdrive. He was thinking everything at the same time... Every possible thought went through his head and he could hold onto none of them. Was this what it felt like when people went mad?

He wanted to harness his reason and break up the kiss, chastising her. He also wanted to take her to a place noone could find them and become one with her. Before he was perished between the two options, she broke the kiss. The loss left him cold. In his surrendering position still; with eyes closed, eyebrows drawn close together under.. whatever this feeling was...

He let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding. His hand went to his cheek that she slapped not long ago as a reality-check. Which one was real? The slap or the kiss? Or both?
Before he could collect his thoughts his lips moved in their own accord..

-I.. You..

His stable voice surprised him upon hearing himself..

When he dared to, he opened his eyes. Hazan was still there as a confirmation that this was real. No straight thought presented itself.

And before he could decide on a course of action Hazan turned her back and walked away.. his only consolidation was that she looked just as lost after this kiss as he was..

Still the question remained:

"Why did you kiss me back?"

And before long the question turned into accusation:

"Why did you teach me what it feels like?"

And everything turned into a desperate longing..

"How will I live on having learned what it feels like and maybe never touching you ever again?"