A Toxic Lover

Setting It Quick, Simple, and Bittersweet

     Here's the start. It started like a normal day. I go to the main office, and talk to my favorite staff member, then the trek to the gym of my fears began. I started by walking to the nearest open spot, and then looked around for him. That's right him. I had been obsessed with this one guy for days, and I wanted to go a few more days without him knowing... but I was too late to keep him from finding out... I walked up the stairs after him, because I always leave after him... I looked towards his locker, and saw my favorite teal-ish coloured hoodies hunched down over the dark-blue Jansport backpack. I walked towards the classroom only to find out I had to trudge back down to the library... I sat with him at the table and after the other boy left, it was just me and Anthony... He told me that my best-friend Diana told him the someone liked him, so he asked if I knew who it was. I was actually brave enough to tell him it was me. I wish I would have known how he would played with my emotions. I can't seem to face him anymore... Things were going great, and I actually thought he may have liked me back for a while, but I guess I was wrong... Every dance I see him at, every day in class when he isn't there, and every time I think of him before I sleep, I cry. I used to try not too, because he said my emotions don't matter, and he was my world, the reason for my lousy, useless, nobody, self still walking the halls, and not in a cold grave like Hannah Baker in 13 Reasons Why. I had always crossed my fingers that I would sit by him in the gym, and a few times I did, but, it only led to more toxicity for me to deal with now. I wish that I never read my poems to the class, they opened the door for all the pushed back feelings to flow from his mouth. If any good came from this, its that I found someone new. This new person is even kinder to me than I ever would have expected anyone to be. He gives me hugs everyday, and lets me cuddle close when I feel like crying. He makes me feel safe, and I want to spend everyday with him. Leo makes me feel like all my problems fade away into nothing every time I see him. It took me long enough to find him though... Why didn't I realize my feelings sooner? Well, that's just the quick easy way to put this story, tell more later.

~Parker