Goodbye - HanCheol

Goodbye

(A/N: I recommend listening to The Truth Untold by BTS while reading this. It'll add to the drama. )

Seungcheol had been living with Hansol for 3 months now. He was a always a cheery person, always offering to make breakfast, did his chores as needed and always loved hanging with his hyungs. He loved being with Seungcheol but suddenly, he stopped. He lost motivation and Seungcheol had noticed.

Seungcheol was sitting in the living room, playing video games and blasting music. It was a normal Saturday night for him. Well, not too normal, Hansol wasn't in there being his normal self. He was locked up in his room doing God knows what, again.
Maybe he's just being a child. Or maybe he's just texting Seungkwan. Thought Seungcheol. He knew he acted like this when he was younger it never phased him when Hansol would act like this.
He suddenly heard coughing coming from upstairs, startling him. He paused his game and turned his music down low. He heard it again. It wasn't normal coughing either. It was violent and sounded like someone was... choking. He stood up and ran upstairs as fast as he could. He looked around the rooms and realised it had been coming from the restroom. His heart started pounding as he reached for the door handle. Locked.
Shit.  He thought. He knocked on the door.
"O-occupied!" Hansol said, his voice shaking .
"Is everything alright?" Seungcheol said, his heart beat getting faster, concern rising in his voice.
Seungcheol heard the toilet flush and the faucet run. Hansol unlocked the door and stepped out, holding his sleeves and smiling softly.
"I'm perfect fine! You need to take a dump or something?" Hansol laughed nervously.
Seungcheol smiles at the younger boy and held his wrist, watching him flinch.
"Did I hurt you?! I'm sorry!!" He went to raise the sleeve to make sure it wasn't hurt but Hansol pulled back and held it close to himself.
" I'm fine dude! What's your deal? Trying to be my dad or something? " he laughed, while shaking.
"You were coughing pretty loudly, I was trying to make sure you weren't dying or something. Now, will you come downstairs with me?! It's pretty lonely and boring without you."
Hansol smiled big and ran down stairs. Seungcheol saw it. There was blood in his mouth, staining his teeth. Was he...? He couldn't be! He was the happiest person Seungcheol knew. It was stupid to think he would force himself to vomit. He was at a very good weight and fitness wise, was in nice shape.
Seungcheol ran after him and sat on the couch beside him. He already had a controller in his hand and logged into Overwatch.
"You wanna take turns on my account or yours?" Hansol asked, eyes glued to the screen, already in a match.
"I actually want to talk to you for a minute." Seungcheol said quietly, watching anger grow on Hansol's face.
" Oh come on, you fucking Hanzo main! That was bullshit!! Did you see that Seungcheol?! "
Maybe after this match. Seungcheol thought to himself.
"Yeah he's so bad! You suck dick man!" Seungcheol yelled at the television. 
The round had ended with a happy Hansol. Seungcheol still needed to talk to him, to make sure he was okay. He grabbed the boys thigh and directed his attention onto him.
"We need to talk. Right now."
" B-but it's your turn to play! Come on, I can start your match for you! "
He took the controller from Hansol and placed it on the couch. He picked up the boy with ease, making him blush.
"Don't you think we should charge that?! I mean, you don't want it to die, do you?!"
" I could care less about that right now. We need to talk. I need to know you're okay. "
Hansol lied his head on Seungcheol's chest as he walked up the stairs, shaking and crying softly. He was scared he would find out his secret.
Vernon POV
Seungcheol placed me on his bed and pulled up a chair for himself.
This was it. I'm fucked.
"So what's going on Vernon? You've been off lately. You don't do your chores, you're very behind on your work... you don't even like cooking for us anymore."
" Uh, well you know, I've just been busy. "
"You're always in your room and you've stopped coming down stairs unless you need to eat, which you barely do."
Change the subject. He's going to bring it up. Change the subject.
Without thinking, I grabbed Seungcheols face and kissed him, taking him by surprise. He pulled back and smiled at me with a certain look of worry, or lust in his eyes.
"Take off your shirt."
My heart started pounding loud in my ears as I started sitting up nervously.
"A-aren't you being a bit forceful? All I did was kiss you and now you want sex?"
A stern look came upon his face.
This is it, I'm fucked.
"If nothing is wrong, then I can just take it off for you, right? "
You might as well just give in. He knows.
I bit my lip and took off my shirt, reveling myself to him. I saw him look my body up and down, then close his eyes in frustration.
"Pants too." He said through his teeth.
Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. I made him mad. I fucked up.
I slid out of my jeans and sat in my underwear.
Seungcheol opened his eyes and looked at me with disappointment in his eyes. He saw where I cut myself. All over my stomach, across both my arms and my thighs were absolutely torn up. He reached out his hand and placed it on my thigh, making me blush lightly.
"Is that what you were doing in the restroom?" Seungcheol wouldn't look at me.

"No. I was, making myself vomit." I looked at the top of his head. I was ashamed of myself.
I don't deserve to alive.
A long minute passed until S.Coups broke the silence.
"May I ask why you did this to yourself?"
" I feel like no one loves me. "
Seungcheol gripped my thigh tightly and finally looked at me.
"That's obviously not true. Sofia loves you, Seungkwan loves you as well as the whole group, your whole fan base loves you, hell, I love you."
I smiled at him, tears filling my eyes.
"It's like this S.Coups, no matter how much you have, no matter how many people support you, if you tell yourself something enough, you start believing it."
Seungcheol nodded his head at me, like he understood. My heart pounded even harder, making me feel dizzy.
"Stay here baby. I-I'll be right back."Seungcheol ran out of the room and I lied on his bed, eyes getting heavy. His bed was so warm and soft, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
The next morning
I woke up and looked around, Seungcheol was asleep beside me. I snuck out of the bed and ran into the restroom. I looked around and saw that there were bandages all over my body.
He just doesn't want to see it because it makes him feel bad. You dumbass. All you ever do is upset him.

I opened the drawer where I usually kept the blade and, gone? I turned to the doorway and saw Seungcheol with it in his hand.
"

Are you looking for this?" He said half asleep.
I looked down and nodded my head. He took my hand and guided me to the toilet. Seungcheol held the blade over the toilet and dropped it in.
"Flush it Hansol."
"Okay..."
I put my hand on the handle and let it flush, it was gone now.
"Good job." He held me in his arms for a while, rocking me back and forth in the restroom floor.
"I love you Hansol." He whispered in my ear.
" Excuse me. " I got out of his arms and ran to my room, locking the door.
"Hansol, baby, are you okay?"
" Just leave me alone. "
Seungcheol POV
"Baby I'm not going to leave you alone. I know you need someone right now."
I heard him shuffling around, obviously looking for something. It scared me.
"Baby, open the door." I tried turning the doorknob. Nothing.
" Why did you put bandages on me, huh? Were you ashamed by it? Did it look disgusting to you? " Hansol was obviously upset.
"Of course not! I just wanted them to heal properly. Let me in!" I slammed my body against the door. It still wouldn't budge.
" I don't deserve to be alive Seungcheol. I keep disappointing everyone. I'm just a fuck up. " I heard a gun being loaded, followed by him sobbing quietly. My heart sped up as I ran down stairs to get a knife.
"Don't do anything you'll regret Hansol!" I hit the knife to the door, it started to break.
" I won't regret this. I'm tired of pissing everyone off, I'm tired of letting you down. "
The door started breaking more, it was almost open.
"I promise you, you don't disappoint anyone, not even me!! Please don't do this!!" The door finally broke open, I ran to Hansol, trying to get the gun from him. He looked me in the eyes and smiled sadly. He put his hand on the trigger and placed it on his head. I tried pulling to away but he wouldn't budge.
"Goodbye Seungcheol." He pulled the trigger, his body bloody, lifeless.
He's gone. You can't do anything about it now. You couldn't help him.
I picked up his body in my arms and sobbed, "Goodbye Hansol."

(A/N: ouch. I caused myself pain. Sorry if I made anyone cry or if it was confusing to read. I'm no good at writing. And, if you're going through anything, remember that there is help for you. Have a nice day.)