I found myself... again.

Prologue

We tend to adapt with the things around us, either good or bad. That is life, we got to be content with the things we have unless we raise up our voice. I was in the dark, I could sense it, but the thing is I was adapted to it. Little did I try to come out of it, until a beam of light gave way to my soul. That was when I realized I was in a deep dark pit leading me to destruction.

Sometimes I would sit on the bark of a tree and watch the sunset. The reality would then hit me that Im slowly fading away from my spiritual life. I would think of the time I was still a kid, how I loved to go to church and how I changed with the passage of years. But then soon enough I would put that thought away and other thoughts would occupy my mind.

They say we learn from our mistakes. I did, but it was too late. I lost my twin sister, Daryl, just because of my selfishness. I shouldve listened to her, but I didnt. Now all I feel is guilt and regret, all I say is "what if...?"

I can't get over it. I've been so glum lately since the accident. It was Saturday, Daryl wanted to go to church but I had to perform for a show. Mom and Dad were out of town so I compelled her to accompany me and cheer me up, though she resisted a lot but agreed anyway.

"Its Saturday Cheryl, I have to go to church", she said. "I cant miss it."

"Please?" I begged, giving her the innocent look she could never resist.

She looked at me, hands on her hips. "Don't you give me that look!"

"I told you not to take it from the start, theres another show on Thursday", she added. Did you have to choose this one?"

"Okay a big mistake, promise I won't do it again," I said, nibbling my fingers. "Good", she said as she tied her hair.

"You're going with me then?" I said as I jumped off my bed. "Even Kyle's going". Kyle is our younger brother while Daryl is the eldest. He's into music like me, unlike Daryl, she's a geek.

"Kyle?" She glared at me as if I was declaring that I'd commit suicide. "Won't he go to church?"

"Oh! C'mon Daryl, there's nothing harm in missing just a single service. Can't you sacrifice just one for me? This is something really important to me, you know."

I was hurt; it was as if she didn't care about my interest. That look in her eyes explained it all.

"Okay enough. Just tell me, you're going, or not?" I asked in a stern voice. The tone of my voice clearly revealed that that was it, if she didnt care about my feelings, I was neither interested to impose it on her.

"Cheryl," she said, looking at me and heaved a huge sigh. "Do I have a choice?"

"So youre going?" I blurted out, a grin spreading on my face.

~~~

Seeing the look on Kyles face the moment he saw Daryl coming made me laugh.

"So you finally convinced Daryl, eh?" He chuckled.

"Can anyone ever resist Cheryl, the great?" Daryl said and we all broke into laughter.

"I'll drive," I said and took the keys from Kyle.

"No, let me drive", Kyle said. "I dont want any trouble."

"You dont trust me? I lifted my face to meet his eyes. Hes too tall!"

"Now whoever is going to drive, its time to leave," Daryl said and climbed in the back seat.

"I will", I said and climbed in the drivers seat.

"Be careful", Kyle said and hopped in the car.

~~~

I played the song For you by Rita Ora featuring Liam Payne on the music system and started singing along.

"Can you switch the song?" Daryl said from the backseat.

"Cmon Daryl, theres a time for everything", I said. "Theres a time to play these songs and theres a time to play gospel songs."

"You're misinterpreting," she said.

"Theres nothing wrong in it, isnt it Kyle?" I turned to look at him for a second.

"CHERYL!" Kyle screamed. I turned my face back to the road. A truck was coming with full speed towards us, I tried to turn but in vain, the truck was just a centimetre away and then BOOM!

I just remember seeing Daryl being thrown out in front of my eyes through the front windshield of our car. I felt as if there was a strong force pushing me as my head hit the car steering, giving a loud horn. I felt blood streaming down my face; my head was aching like hell. I saw Kyle almost out of the windshield with blood flowing out from his head. I could hardly move a muscle and open my eyes. I heard noises, buzzing of people, but I couldnt apprehend what they said and soon crossed to oblivion.

When I opened my eyes, I saw a completely different scenario, I looked around and realized I was in a hospital bed then I saw an old nurse coming in. I could hear Dads voice outside the room, talking to a Doctor perhaps.

"Wheres Daryl?" I asked the nurse and tried to sit up. "Ouch!" My hands ached as I gave pressure to them.

"Dont sit up, sugar", she said sweetly and came by my side. She held my head and my shoulder as she made me lie down again.

"Where are Daryl and Kyle?" I asked her again.

"Kyles in another room", she said. "He hasnt gained consciousness yet."

"What about Daryl?"

Dad entered in with the doctor talking about some surgery to be done. He ran towards me the moment he saw I was awake. "Honey, how you feeling?"

"Dad wheres Daryl?" I asked ignoring his question, panic in my voice.

"Cheryl..." Dad said and stopped. His lips pressed into a hard line.

"What Dad?"

He slowly came and sat down beside me. He held my hand, caressed it and heaved a sigh. I could see there was deep hurt in his eyes.

"Dad, tell me wheres Daryl!" I yelled, not taking my eyes off him. Something was wrong. Whats with Daryl? Why is anyone not saying anything?

He gasped, tears welling in his eyes and choked as he spoke. "Daryl..."

"Dad, what happened to Daryl?" My heart was beating a frantic heartbeat. I wasnt ready for any bad news. I was terrified to even think what couldve happened to her.

"She. Is. No. More," he managed to speak out the most terrible words Ive ever heard in my life, each word at a time.

I couldnt believe what I heard. "Dad youre kidding me, right?" I asked as tears welled in my eyes. If hes trying to give me a heart attack then he was succeeding. That piece of information was too big for me to digest. "Dont scare me, please!"

He heaved a huge sigh again and caressed my cheek. He could not speak anymore; he just stood up and went out of the room.

I was stunt. This couldnt be happening. I couldnt lose my sister just like that. The fault was entirely mine. If I didnt force her this wouldnt have happened. Tears never stopped flowing, and in no time grew into louder sobs. The old nurse held my shoulder. But the sobs grew louder.

I wished that was all just a terrible nightmare, and Id wake up in the morning and see Daryl. This couldnt be happening.

"It was all because of me! It was entirely my fault!" I screamed.

Mom came with her eyes red and puffy. "Oh! Dear", She wailed and ran towards me.