If Columbus Found America

A New Route to the Indies

N: A long time ago, in a country far away, there was a now very old dude who is dead... probably. Anyways, this guy was trying to find a new route to the west Indies but ended up getting lost and finding America instead, cause 'merca. Long story short, we now live in a free country. But in an alternate universe, Columbus never found this place we live in and he actually found the west Indies.

Columbus: Oh my dear king and Queen I have been thinking of a new way to get to the Indies that will give us many riches. Unfortunately, my home country doesn't believe in me and will not provide me with boats. But you, my amazingly lovely highnesses, have to see all you will gain by providing me with these boats.

Queen Isabella: Wait, Stop right there. What makes you think there is a New route? For all we know, you could be coming up with lies to get our money and ships to just set off and never return.

Columbus: Well, my dear Queen, it is unknown whether there truly in a easier route, but if we were able to find this route then we could charge people for using it and make millions that could lead other countries to bankruptcy. Then after bankruptcy they will not be able to defend themselves against our now very strong military which will lead to world domination!! AHEM!! I mean, we could help Spain be a better place?

King Ferdinand: Well good sir, you make a very good argument. I do see the thought you have put into this. I like your proposition so I will give you the La Niña, La Pinta, and the Santa María. Don't let us down.

N:Just like he said, King Ferdinand got columbus's ships ready for him as well as providing a crew and supplies for the journey. Although the journey was bound to be long, the crew was excited to help Columbus find these riches that would make them famous and get their name written in the Book of explorers.

CM1: Capitan! We are ready to serve you in any way possible and... i just want to say your so amazing!! You are, like, the best, like, guy ever! I can't even believe that I'm able to step on your ship, let alone work for you! I will do, like, anything for you sir, like, anything you want. Do you want coffee or a seat? Or I could get you food? Or what abo---

Columbus: Whoa, Whoa... Whoa. Slow down there child. I get it, I'm amazing, but I need you to go and wash the deck. I want to my face on this deck. You got it?

CM1: SIR YES SIR!!!!!!

N: The crew members soon set sail, and, as they took off, the only thing going through their heads was the hope of riches.

They sailed on for many weeks and that excitement that they felt at the start of the journey had started to turn into irritation. They started to lose hope, the thought of riches was becoming a dream they had experienced. Not to mention the food was running low which made them even more angry (or Hangry).

CM2: Capitan, I don't mean to be rude, but I think it is time to give up. We have been out on the sea for so long and we are very hungry. We are starting to run out of supplies. We are done sir, so can we please turn this ship around?

Columbus: You want to stop when we are so close?! I can't believe you guys would just give up, I didn't know that I had a ship full of wimps who are afraid to go hungry for a few days. Why would you guys even mention the idea? NO! We are not stopping! Now get back to work!

CM2:*sigh* Yes sir...

Columbus: These ungrateful Zounderkites. I offer them the riches of the century, and yet they still complain! Well I will show them!

N: Well I don't know about you, but Columbus sounds pretty* (lengthy) ticked off at his crew, but it was kinda all he had so there wasn't much he could do. It's not like he could just throw them overboard. He kinda needed them... just a bit

CM1: Sir Columbus, sir! I did everything you asked, sir, and I'm ready to make your life much easier! Would you like some coffee or a donut sir?

Editor: Um.. Excuse me, I don't think they had those back then...

N: Um No! I looked it up and there was donuts, so you can go back into the hole you live in.

Editor: Oh.. Well... Ok then... I'll just.. Be... like, over.. Here...

N: Anyways...

CM1: As I was saying... Is there anything I can bring you, sir?

Columbus: Yes, you can fetch me that bucket and put it over your head, your face is making me nauseous.

CM1: Sir Ye... wait, a bucket?

Columbus: Is there a problem?

CM1: No... No sir.. I'll go do that.

N:As you can see, Columbus was kind of a jerk. But I guess that's what happens when a guy like him is left in charge. But nonetheless, they continued on their journey to find a path to the Indies. But on the way they come across a wicked storm. See, this is where in our universe, he kinda screwed up and got lost, which led to him finding Merca. But this Columbus got lucky and managed to stay on course...

And ultimately found what he was looking for.

Columbus: Guys! I see the path! Make a left, right here!!!

N: Though it was a great thing that columbus was able to find the west indies, he decided to stay and be the watcher of the path so he could collect money. But while staying there, that meant he never discovered America. Instead, while John Cabot was exploring Canada, he accidentally stepped into the American territory. Realizing that this new territory was not claimed by any of the major countries or places that would try and make ware decided to colonize this area, and name it New Italy. It never became a free country and we all had to live the way the Italian Government wanted us to. Later on, the Russians eventually took over, who then lost it to the Chinese. Japan started a war for New Italy in which a lot of other people joined in because of the nice rich soil. Unfortunately, all of the wars messed up the land and nobody wanted it anymore, so it became a prison place for all of the continents to dispose of bad people. But being the unsmart people they were, there were no guards, so these bad people built boats and slowly took over the world and made everyone their slaves...

The End