After Dunkirk

Chapter 27

Georgia POV
Somehow I'm able to make it back home alone.

Addison and I were walking together at first but then she split off somewhere down the road.

I'm glad I didn't decide to be stupid around a time where Alex would be home.

Thankfully I still have a couple more hours til he comes home.

I climb into bed so I can hopefully sleep off whatever  effects this stuff might have on me before Alex gets home.

A couple hours later I wake up and it's dark outside.

I didn't even know I could sleep that long.

My naps usually never go any longer than an hour or two.

I feel weird and not the good type of weird I was feeling earlier.

I feel almost as if I'm caught in some type of weird depressive after effect.

I felt so good a couple of hours ago to only feel like shit now.

Alex doesn't get off for another couple of minutes, so he won't be home for a little while.

I decide to go out by the pool. I take a blanket with me and just watch the waves sway back and forth for a while.

It's crazy because in that moment I truly wasn't thinking about anything and for the first time in a while I didn't feel sad.

It felt so good to feel free from all that.

I don't really know what to do here.

This is Alex's home not mine.

I don't have any friends here, except for Addison I guess and then when Alex leaves me in the day I'm just here all alone trapped in my thoughts.

How could I not think about him?

It still feels so new and I think that's at least what any decent parents would do.

They cry for what feels like forever.

I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't do anything it feels like. He's always in my head.

I miss him so much. It's even like I grieve for the life could have had.

I think about what he would have looked like when he got older, I wonder about all the things he would have been into, what he would have wanted to be when he got older.

I think about everything.

I know I had no idea, not even the first clue about what it meant to be a mother, but I would have learned and we would have figured it out. I'd give anything in the world to have him back.

I'm a little startled when I feel someone touching my shoulder, but I look up and it's just Alex.

"Hey what are you doing out here all alone?" He says as he kisses me on the cheek.

It feel like forever since I've had an actual conversation with him.

"Nothing, I just thought it was pretty outside tonight and I thought I'd come out." I say.

He doesn't say anything he just motions me towards him and I rest my head on his chest.

I think somehow he just knows I'm sad.

It's not like it's really some big mystery.

At least I'm not crying though. I'm proud of myself.