My poems/lyrics

Fight this self-hate

I try to keep sane

Keep away from all the pain

But it has a mind of its own

And now im talking about my brain

It makes me wanna jump from a plane

Take a razor to my vein

Put a bullet in my brain

But that would all be in vain

Cuz then my family would be feeling the pain

It feels like my never ending doom

Im sitting all alone in this room

All these horrible thoughts in my head

I feel like i'd rather be dead

Its destroying my soul

And it seems like i'm stuck in this hole

Now i cant get out

It seems as if i'm in a drought

But there's water all around me

I can't get rid of this negative energy

I wanna get rid of this beast inside of me

Now let's talk about myself hate

People love to discriminate

Just because im not straight

I'm always thinking that there's something wrong with me

People always putting the blame on me

Now let's not even get into my bipolar disorder

But what about my anxiety disorder?

I'm hoping it will fade when i grow older

It feels like i'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders

The feeling in my chest is getting tighter

Hold on, let me get my blunt and lighter

Because it's the only thing that makes the world seem brighter

Ive never really been a fighter

But with my life i always have to fight harder

(chorus)

Gotta keep on goin

Gotta keep gettin stronger

Gotta hold on for a little while longer

We can do this together

Cant give up now

Even after ive been disavowed

Someone grab ahold of my hand

Help me through this wasted land

I cant help but be realistic

But hopefully you can help me be optimistic

My view on the world has always been pessimistic

Because all of these people around me are sadistic

You've helped me more than my family ever has

They've always seen me as an impasse

No matter how much i've pushed you away

You shake your head and say not today

And in the end you always stay

And so here i lay

All of my grief and pain on display

But i trust you'll keep my heart safe in your hands

Even while everyone else misunderstands

I hope you'll understand

My heart commands

And i can't deny its demands

It tells me i have to withstand

All of the problems that ruins our plans

But that's not the only side of my heart

I guess my heart has two parts

The other part tells me to break away

To fight and keep you away

Because in the past it's always ended up bad

All those people who have witnessed my problems firsthand

Left me behind, broken and damned

Left me sinking even faster in this quicksand

But you came around and grabbed me by the hand

Pulled me out safely on land

Tried to keep me away from monsters

But how can you when the demons in my head

Turn everyone into imposters

They say everyone's lying

And trust me, i'm trying

But they keep on implying

That i'm better off dying

And i hope it doesn't get tiring

For me to keep on relying

That you'll always be there when i can't stop myself from crying

I lay awake

Praying to the lord

Saying my soul is his to take

It feels like everyone is fake

Always wearing their masks

Its hard to do these tasks

This life goes by fast

Live it up before you pass

Steady smokin on some grass

So come and join me in this peril journy