conceal | ryden

[03]

brendon.

ryan took me back to school, and i had to lean against the nearest set of lockers to catch my breath. small, neat numbers were written on the back of my hand; ryan's number.
my breath hitched.
igotryansnumber
i texted jon, who basically came running with the rest of our friends.
"is it true?" patrick almost yells into my face.
i laughed, dazed and happy and overwhelmed, clutching onto patrick's wrists and scrunching my whole face up as i nodded.
igotryansnumber.
spencer squealed and hugged me, fingers drifting over my spine to calm me down. i didn't want to calm down though; i was elated, ecstatic, living on cloud nine. the repetitive action did however relax my quivering body, and i sank thankfully into spencer's arms.

i couldn't concentrate for the rest of the day. i turned down going to spencer's house and walked home quickly. throwing myself down onto my bed, i unlocked my phone and with trembling fingers, typed out a text to ryan.
to: ryan
hii! it's brendon
sent at 17:18
i received a reply not shortly afterwards, while i was sat drinking a coffee and staring at my phone.
from: ryan
hey brendon!
received at 17:25
i won't lie; i may have squealed slightly. shit. i left him on read.
to: ryan
thanks for coffee today by the way. and good luck for the game :)))
sent at 17:27

from: ryan
aha it's no problem ((:
i'll see you there right?
received at 17:30

he remembered.

to: ryan
wouldn't miss it. also it's :)) not ((: you crazy person
sent at 17:32

from: ryan
don't bully me, sweatie :'((
received at 17:40

to: ryan
pfft. i'll see you soon :))
sent at 17:41

read by ryan at 17:42

the game was at six, so i swapped my shirt and grabbed my keys, locking the door behind me and driving to the school.

i met jon, spencer and dallon at the gates, leading the way to the bleachers and we sat close to the front. dallon lifted his arm in a wave to someone and three figures jogged towards us.
ryan, pete and ryan seaman.
"hey dude," ryan seaman says, lacing his fingers with dallon's.
"who are you playing against?" jon spoke up.
"pellacoat high. they're pretty good to be honest, and we've never played against them before, which is a blessing and a curse," pete replies.
from what i've seen, the team had a few special moves. the first; ryan seaman throws the ball as far as he can, ryan hopefully ( most of the time) catches it, and scores. the second; ryan and pete create a zigzag pattern across the field, and before the other team knew it, they'd scored. the final one was the most complex; all three of them would be placed strategically between members of the opposing team, the ball would be thrown seemingly into a crowd of the other team, and one of our team members- usually pete- would catch it and score.

somewhere a whistle blew, and the three boys jogged back over to the rest of their team. they did some sort of strange good luck ritual- tapping their helmets against each others and jogging on the stop with their knees high- before getting ready for the offence.

within minutes, they had scored. it seemed like a no-brainer that our team would win. however the opposition played dirty; tackling our players. at halftime, ryan came limping over to us, sweat gleaming on his forehead and arms. bruises stood stark on his arms and fresh blood on his lip. he was smiling though, clearly full of adrenaline.
"are you okay?" i called over the noise, hands cupped around my face. ryan just smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly.
"i'm great. meet me in the changing rooms after, would you, urie?"
that made me confused, blushing, and breathless. he wanted to talk to me.
i couldn't wait.

our team won, just. they all limped off the pitch, bruised and some bloody, but all smiling. chatting, they filed into the changing rooms and i followed. making my way over to ryan, i was debating to myself what he might ask me about.

that got me thinking, as i stood with my back uncomfortably pressing against the cold, metal lockers. everyone knew that ryan was pansexual; he'd gotten teased for it and rude remarks, even a punch or two after he first came out, but as time went on it became something ordinary and unremarkable. i always skirted around the idea of coming out as bisexual; just the thought of announcing something i'm still so insecure about in front of people that you don't know is so nerve wracking. i don't think i could handle it. my entire friend group knew, however, along with a few others who i was vaguely friends with, but no one else. no strangers, no one from other year groups. not ryan ross.

[ello there how are y'all sorry this chapter was a bit smaller than the others whoops
have a great day/night lovelies x]