How To Love (Niall Horan Fanfic)

Last Good-Bye's

*Kennedy's P.O.V.*

"I think you should go home now." Niall said whille looking into my eyes.

"I don't want to leave you." I said.

"I don't want to leave you either, but you're safer with your parents. They wouldn't expose themselves to your family. Plus, I could tell Jenny misses you, she was blowing up your phone!" I smiled at that and kissed him one last time before I stepped out on the grass. It had been almost a week since I had been home. I slowly walked to the house, scared of what might happen inside those front doors. I walked past the flowers, that were starting to bloom in the spring air. I smelt them, being careful not to press my ribs the wrong way. I steadied myself and walked into the house, pretending to smile and be happy to see everyone. But my parents didn't seem happy in return. They had tear stained cheeks and non-showered bodies. They both hugged me tightly, squeezing me too tight. I winced and they let go, but they never returned my smile.

"What's wrong?" I finally asked. Hopefully they weren't freaking out about me disappearing for awhile.

"Jennifer," Mother starts crying loudly, she was unable to speak, and dad rushed to hug her. Something happened to her, so I ran to her room, and shoved the door open. She wasn't there, but her clothes were on the floor from when I last saw her. Her bed sheets were messed up, blankets all over the floor and mattress.

"Jennifer?" I called, hoping she would reply, but she never did. I walked over to her bed where scissors and her favorite book lie on top of blood stained sheets. It was like a bullet in my heart, a sharp knife stabbing away. I collapsed to my knees on the floor, and held my chest tightly. The tears quickly flooded out of me like a dam being broken. It was hard to except what was happening, I didn't want to believe that someone could have hurt someone so innocent. I punched myself in the ribs as punishment for not replying to her texts. I could have saved her, but I didn't. It was all my fault.

"I'm sorry." I cried. I grabbed the photo on the bed side table of the family and screamed. I wanted to see her precious smile, hear her sweet giggle, and feel her warm heart. But I couldn't, and I would never feel her love anymore.

***

I hadn't spoken to Niall in a few weeks, or any of his friends, and they hadn't made an attempt to contact me either. I needed someone right now, but I couldn't talk without breaking down, it was best if everyone stayed away. But today I had to be with people again, at Jennifer's funeral. I hadn't seen her in four weeks, before I left to go to the club with Niall. I left my hair tangled and didn't apply my makeup. I wore a black dress that my mother wore to my grandmothers funeral, it was the most I could do to dress up. I didn't want to go, I didn't want to see her laying in a casket, I didn't want to see her not breathing... I didn't want to face her and realize that my little sister was gone.

When we arrived at the funeral I stood behind my parents as they talked quietly to some of her favorite teachers and friends, not saying anything. I stared at my shoes refusing to look up, until the funeral service ended and I asked for a moment alone with Jennifer. I wanted to say good-bye, but alone. Everyone exited the room, and headed back to their cars in silence except for me. I walked quietly to to the casket holding her favorite stuffed animal. She always had a place in her heart for stuffed animals, especially the manatee named Barbra, so I placed Barbra safe in her arms. Half the casket was open, so everyone could see her top half, but I opened both sides. I looked at her and tried to keep the tears from blurring my eyes again. My heart ached for her to say something happy like she always did. But she just lied there, her hair was neatly laid down on her shoulders and her eyes shut. I waited for her to spring up and smile her big beautiful smile, but she didn't move. I kissed her forehead and started shaking again as the tears rolled down my cheeks again, dropping on her dress. I held her hand one last time telling her I loved her one last time and kissed her one last time, and shut both casket doors. I could almost hear my heart shattering.