Three days

Day 2

I had a nightmare. I was standing in an empty road, there was fog all around me. I couldn't see anything. I whispered to the cold wind and the echo of my voice ended with the sound of her voice.  I felt fear. Why? I can't answer that question: I don't know the answer. I turned around to see if Amelie was behind me. But she wasn't. I only heard the sound of her voice when I whispered. There were trees beside the road, the wind was moving their leafs back and forth. The wind intensified and the road that was behind me seemed endless; and in front of me, it had a cliff a few meters away from me, then the road would give a curve. I walked to the curved road to see if it lead somewhere. But every step that I took felt eternal, the road seem to be at the same distance it was before, even though I walked ten steps. It was like I didn't moved. I turned around and found out I was at the same place. The sound of the wind somehow spoke to me "you can't go back" it said. "Amelie?" I said incredulously hoping I would hear her voice again. Nothing. She wasn't there to take me out. Not again. Not ever. And all of a sudden the floor under my feet started to crack. "Luca" said the voice I wanted to hear at that moment. I looked to my left but the road wasn't there anymore, there was a wall. I looked at my right and a wall was there too. I was locked up between four brick walls. "Luca" I heard again. Water started filling my little-brick cage. "Luca" called her voice again. I looked up, all I saw was a light above me. "Amelie!?" I said desperately hoping she could save me. The water covered my thighs already. "Luca" she answered. "Help me" I cried. The water was filling quickly the cage. I didn't received an answer from her. "Amelie? I need you!" There was no way of getting out of here, the water was on my neck now. "I can't..." she answered after a while. "...You're the only one who can get out" said her voice. "I don't know how" I said almost speechless, tears threatened to fall. "You know Luca, you know yourself." I was lost at her respond, I didn't know myself at all, or was it just that I wanted believe that? Water had covered my entire body. I couldn't breath, nor think. "Come on Luca, don't give up" she kept saying to me. I was floating on this water, drowning and dying slowly. I felt how my lungs exploded and how my brain stopped working. That's when Amelie woke me up.

"Luca, Luca! Wake up!" She shook me. I looked at her and saw her scared face. "Are you okay?" By the look in her face I knew I had woken her up. "You are crying" she said studying my face. "Luca" she placed her hand on my cheek. I was all sweated and I was trembling, I couldn't speak. "It's okay, it was just a nightmare, whatever you dreamed it's not real..." she tried to calm me down, my heartbeat was high and I felt like my heart was going to break out of my chest. "Try to go back to sleep" I looked at her and try to talk: "S-stay with... me" I said with difficulty. Amelie glanced at me and shook her head saying yes. "I'll stay, Luca, I promise" she whispered putting her head back on my chest, somehow this comforted me and brought me a type of peace like if everything was going to be fine even though it wouldn't.

"Just take extra clothes" said Amelie from my bedroom door. "We don't really need much" she said while watching me pack up clothes in my backpack. "Where are we going?" I asked. I didn't know what we were going to do. I woke up and Amelie told me to get ready and I didn't know for what. Aunt Lily was involved too since she was ready with her backpack waiting downstairs for us. "You'll see" she answered smiling. I finished packing up some clothes and my medicines and then went downstairs with Amelie. "Ready?" Asked aunt Lily. I looked at Amelie "Yes Ms. Jacobs!" Before I knew, we were sitting on the backseat of my aunt's car on our way to I-still-don't-know-where. But there was Amelie singing all the songs that came up on the radio and my aunt talking about everything and then there's me, trying to get eaten by my seat and not bother anyone. I can't deny that hating life while being around Amelie was easy. She made me forget my disgrace and feel a weird love to living. Maybe that's what she had planned to do during my last two days.

"We're here!" Exclaimed aunt Lily while she opened the door and got out of the car. Amelie did the same as her. I opened the door and went out in silence while checking the place but I couldn't see more than the parking lot we were in. "Come, Luca!" Said Aunt Lily. I followed her with Amelie by my side. We passed from the parking lot to a cabin where there were people making a line in front of some guys with a red t-shirt. I tried to look at the letters that were written in their shirts but I couldn't see them until we were in front of them. 'Skydiving Fantasy' said their t-shirts. My heart stopped for a second while reading this, Amelie noted that and started laughing softly. I wasn't scared or anything, the thing was that I didn't have any time to get mentally prepared for this. And before I knew, my aunt had payed everything and now we are walking to the small plane we have to jump off in a few minutes.

"Oh my God" said Amelie nervous as me after the guys with the red t-shirts explained to us what we had to do, it wasn't that much, you jump off with them from the small plane and all you had to do was remain calm while falling, later on when you reached land you had to put both of your feet on the ground with your knees flexed, it didn't sound hard at all but I couldn't hide my nerves. I had my jumpsuit and helmet on like the other people, we were just waiting for the perfect altitude. Aunt Lily was pale but she kept insisting she had to do it. Amelie was nervous but excited at the same time. And me, well... I don't know honestly, I'm really nervous but also very happy and motivated to do this, I didn't feel this since long time ago and it was good to felt it now.
"Ok so, who wants to go first?" Said one of the guys in charge. A girl lift up her hand. "Come" Said the guy. She approached to him and he put on her some belts. He gave her some instructions and then they had jumped into the air together. Amelie hold my arm. "Did you just see that?" She said freaking out. "It's gonna be okay, don't worry" I said to her. Another guy showed up. "Next!" He said while putting on himself the same belts as the other guy. Amelie didn't think of it twice: she approached to him. The guy looked at her and connected his belts with hers. "Are you ready?" He asked to her. She glanced at me, and before Amelie answered, they had jumped already.  "Your turn, Luca" said aunt Lily to me pushing me into the other guy. The guy looked at me. "You wanna go next?" He asked which I nodded as an answer. He adjusted the belts and it was a little uncomfortable for me to have him too close. "Okay so, we're gonna jump, don't freak out while descending, you're not gonna die. There's a time to open the parachute when we read a specific altitude and when it's time for landing you'll have to flex your knees and put your feet on the ground gently." I nodded again. I counted on my mind: 1, 2, 3...

I felt in a way I've never felt before. I felt free but locked up at the same time. I felt hopeful but also hopeless. It was a weird combination between nice and ugly. I could see everything from here.
I never had the opportunity until now to appreciate the beauty of my homeland. There were so many places that I haven't  went to in here. I closed my eyes and enjoyed every damn second of freedom while falling. Nothing can stop me here.

"Oh my God!" Said Amelie when we were waiting for aunt Lily to arrive. "It was amazing Luca! I felt this pressure and and..." she couldn't speak well due to her excitement. "I know hahaha I know" I said sharing her excitement. She hugged me so I hugged her back. I've never felt this happy. The emotions I experienced in that moment were new to me. I was smiling wide open while hugging her and waiting for aunt Lily. I didn't feel alone, I didn't feel depressed or useless. I felt like if I had a chance. Like nothing could take my chances away. Now I want to believe that; I want to feel alive.