If You Could See Me ≫ Niall Horan/Ghost

chapter one

WARNING: Just a small warning to everyone that yes this story will be triggering. I know how some people are, so I just want to put this small warning here.

also surprise lol

*~*

ℐf Yøu ℂøuℓd Ṡee Ḿe 

"To himself everyone is immortal; he may know he is going to die, but he may never know that he is dead." --Samuel Butler

* * *

People say that when you die, there is a bright light at the end of a tunnel. That you'll have those full 7 minutes that your brain is awake, after you've stopped breathing, to look back at your whole life. All the memories, all the good times, bad ones even. That once you finished seeing what you have accomplished you would pass on, continuing to whatever destiny you have in the next one. That you would get closer and closer to the blinding light at the end of the tunnel, that your soul and spirit would be free.

But no. It wasn't at all like that.

There was no blinding light. No 7 minutes of seeing your whole life that you lived. Nothing.

Just pain. Darkness. The struggle of something on top of you, weighing more by each second that passed by. The feeling of having slices of pain all over your body, something covering your face as you cried out for help. The thickness of a piece of material blocking your mouth and nose, you choking on air as you felt your lungs start to decompress, as you start to lose the feeling in your body.

You feel cold, colder then the ice that covered the streets on a snow day outside your house. You feel panic consume you, as you see the flashes of people in front of you that you love, who love you. You feel the numbness start to take over, you feel how your eyes start to get heavy, how you feel as if you are floating out of your body, not staying grounded to it anymore.

Then it's over.

The numbness is gone.

The coldness is gone.

Your life is gone.

But you don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Instead, just darkness.

And then your trapped. Not dead, not alive. Your stuck, on Earth. Condemned to watch as everyone around you goes on. As they grow old, but you stay the same. How you wonder around aimlessly, not able to feel or touch. Not able to talk to your loved ones again, not able to feel their warm touch caress you. Not able to feel the kiss of your love on your lips.

Not able to hear you.

Not able to touch you.

Not able to see you.

Oh, but only if they could see you.

* * *

At first it's dark, able to see or feel nothing around you. Not knowing where you were or how you even got where you were. It's almost a peaceful sensation, as if your mind and body are one, becoming nothing but the soul and spirit. Which in truth it was, you were nothing but your soul and spirit. You had no body, you had no reason to latch onto it any longer.

Then it hits you. As if a ton of bricks being thrown at you head on, or the feeling as if your about to fall when you first start to go to sleep. You feel panic rise in your chest, causing you to jump slightly. You might cry out, scream out even, but in truth you feel your body start to rise, the darkness slowly lifting as you open your eyes finally. You see the sun and cloudy sky above you, hear the birds chirping and the wind rustling the branches of trees. You see that you are lying down, looking up. The feeling of your limbs come back, you bending your fingers back and forth to test them. But then you notice that something is off.