Dear Elliot

Some nights, I stay up thinking about him.

I think about how I wish he could've known what I thought of him.

How much I loved him. And everything about him.

The way his brown eyes sparkled when he laughed.

The way his smile made my day.

It's funny to think that, even though he always complained of being cold, he radiated like the sun.

He always wore the same redskins hat, and the same brown jacket over a shirt. Always wore brown combat boots.

He joked about my lack of make up, so I started wearing it.

He said I was getting fat, so I stopped eating.

But I still wasn't enough.

What I did to please that boy makes me turn on myself sometimes, my anxiety levels get higher and my happiness gets lower.

Two weeks ago my love broke up with me. My heart is shattered and the only thing I can feel is the pain. I don't wanna live anymore knowing that I'm not enough for you, because that would mean I'm not enough for anyone.

I have nothing.

Your brown eyes don't sparkle for me, they sparkle for her.

I don't steal you redskin cap, she does.

Your smile is now for her.

Your sweater fits her like a dress.

You call her perfect, like I once called you.

You call her your 'Princess' like you once called me.

Now here I am, standing alone although crowded by friends, because the one I love left me.

Cold and alone, because you were my sun, my moon, and all my stars.