It was a bright sun shiny day. The wind was blowing trundles of my hair in every which way, though I didn't mind. It was a good way to cool me down on such a day like this. At the moment I was outside, hanging up my laundry. Sheets to be exact. Plain white sheets. I had already cleaned and hung up the rest of my laundry. That's really all I've been doing. I was so worried about Steve. Yes, Steve Rogers; aka Captain America. He's been away on a mission for almost a week. This was to be one of the most dangerous missions he as been on yet. I was scared to death that he wouldn't return, but in the end he always returned. He would came home to me, gather me in his arms, and place as gentle kiss atop my head. Oh, how I missed him. That's why I've been doing everything I could to distract myself from his absence, cooking, cleaning, running, music making, gardening, and of course laundry. It was ridiculous how many plain white sheets we owned. I guess to avoid doing laundry. Well I was just about done when I heard my name, "Ms. Oakley?" I turned to see two tall figures in uniform, one male the other female, both with their faces hidden by the shade of their hats. "Y-Yes? What is it?" I inquired timidly. "We have news for you about a Steve Rogers." The man said. My eyes lit up full of hope and joy. "What is it? Is he coming home early? I've missed him so much!" I said bringing my hands together excitedly. The two looked at each other, an identical frown on both of their faces. The woman let out a sigh. "He's dead." Those were the only words I heard, the rest were muffled. All I heard was "aircraft" and "crashed". My body felt numb, but I'm pretty sure the woman placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. A letter of notice was placed in my open, still palms. My eyes flew towards the paper, but I couldn't see anything. I couldn't read the paper that said the things I've already heard. Am I just dizzy? No. Tears started to fall onto the paper. I fell to my knees. My breath caught in my throat. Clutching the paper to my aching chest I let out a wail of complete and utter sorrow. Slowly I rocked back and forth letting out these cries of pain. I kept crying, "No! NO! NOOO!!!" As if that would bring him back. This couldn't be happening not to me. My Steve, he couldn't be gone. He just couldn't!
I don't know how long I had been crying, but by the time I noticed my surroundings the soldiers were gone and it had already grown dark. I picked myself up and stumbled over to the sliding door. The laundry completely forgotten. I was so weak from grief that it took a great effort just to push the door open. I hobbled inside, not even bothering to close the door. Walking to the middle of the main room I looked around. Memories began to suffocate me. All of the good times we had had began to cut away at me. The laughter we shared was deafening. And the love we shared was all but a memory, a sad sad past. My eyes reached the front door. No more waiting at home for Steve to step through that door and yell, "I'm home!" I walked to the kitchen brushing the counter with my delicate finger tips. No more sunday morning picnics. I came to the record player. No more days when Steve would take me in his arms and dance with me, just because he wanted to. No more seeing his smile. No more hearing his sweet tender laugh. No more sharing his pains and worries. No more times of anger that would be resolved with just a kiss and a "I'm sorry." No more anythings! I was alone. Completely and utterly alone. The realization hit me like a hurricane. All I could do was crumble to the hardwood floor and cry. Cry until I was blue in the face. Until I was dried out. But I didn't care. The world around me could end for all I care. All I cared about was that I was never ever going to see that man again. Steve, my Steve.
It has been two months since then. I still haven't recovered from that traumatic experience. I'm pretty sure that I never will, but I am once again able to function like a normal human being. I can feed myself, go to work, and take care of myself. At the end of the day however, I always seem to fall apart. I always get up the next day though. I don't think Steve would want me to let myself die away so easily. It is hard though, to not give up. Because I've gotten to the point were I hear him every where, see him everywhere, and sometimes even feel him everywhere I go. I would get so happy, so relieved, but then I remember the truth. Steve isn't coming back. He never will. And I just have to get a hold of that.
Today I was at the table eating a bowl of Cheerios with a copy of The Secret Garden, one of my favorite books of all time. When the there was a knock at the door. I wasn't expecting anyone. Maybe someone just needed directions. People here had a tendency to get lost, so this has happened many times before. I chuckled to myself, setting down my spoon. I folded the corner of the page to save my place, like I did with all of my books, and placed it down beside my bowl. I then got up and walked to the front door. Opening the door, I saw something that came to a big surprise. Steve. I was overjoyed by the sight, at first. I then came to realize that it was probably just another hallucination. Promptly I slammed the door shut and began to walk away, but stopped in my tracks. There was an inkling in my mind. A tiny part of my brain that was just not convinced that that wasn't the real Steve. My eyes widened in realization. I whirled back around and flung the door open to see that it really was Steve. My Steve. "I'm home." He stated quietly. My mind was filled with pure golden joy, but that was soon replaced by anger. I took a step towards him. "You!" I said through clenched teeth as I slammed a fist onto his chest. "You! You! You big jerk! You- ASSHOLE!" I screamed as I began to slam my fist on his chest over and over again. Slap after slap. Each touch just made me angrier and angrier. "What- I-" He stuttered. "You come around here, like it was just another day! I'm Home!?" I said shoving him roughly. "You ASS!" I screamed outraged. "D-D-Diane?!" He sputtered in question, not knowing what he was supposed to do. With one final fist to his chest I sunk into his chest and let out a sorrowful cry. "I thought you were gone! I thought I'd never see you again! I-I-I thought-" I didn't get to finish. Steve had captured my lips in his. He encircled me with his arms and brought me closer. "I.... I thought.. You.. You were..." I said in between kisses. He shushed me and began to shower me with kisses on my nose, my cheeks, my chin, my eyes. And yes, my forehead. How my forehead had longed for that touch. I then pulled away and looked up at him. Holding his face in my tiny ivory hands. "Don't EVER do that to me again." I said, my green eyes catching his blue ones. He nodded and brought his large, warm hands to my face. "Never again." He said capturing my lips once more. Steve. MY Steve, was home.
