I've always been told that you never really get over your first love. To be frank, I thought that was bullshit. If I guy ducks you over then hell yeah you're gonna get over them pretty damn quickly.
Well, I was wrong. It's been 3 years since my first love and it feels like I'm just now getting over him. After 3 years of trying to be friends I think I've finally realized that I can't handle it. I want to be his friend so bad but I just can't be around him. It hurts so damn much.
A few weeks ago I had a panic attack: full on mental break down. It was the middle of the night, and I was emotionally drunk. So I texted him. He didn't reply till the next morning. He was so sweet. He apologized for not being there for me That night and I felt so guilty.
All the feelings came rushing back and I could not handle it. I shot him down. I told him I was fine and didn't want to talk about it. I told him I was sorry but I couldn't rely on him anymore. He didn't say much. Just one word replies like "ok" "it's fine". I felt like I had hurt him. But for the first time I actually felt mostly ok.
I still love him. But it's not as strong anymore. I finally feel like I can give someone else my heart, and it will be mostly theirs.
YOU ARE READING
Stories Full of Tears
RandomThis is a rant book. Honestly, it's mostly for me as some kind of therapy. I might be super petty so be warned. Read it if you want, and comment me advice.
