Sinking

One

Numb- Linkin park

I don't get it.

I don't get how people can call you ugly, disgusting, fat, zit face, four eyes, worthless, emo, and insane, and then the second you call yourself ugly or fat you are considered an attention whore.

They say "No you're not." "Shut up."  "Stop trying to get attention." "No one is going to pity you."

People are completely complicated and I hate it.

Then you start to cut yourself where you thought no one could see, you thought that no one would care but it only makes it worse.

People still say these horrible nasty things to you with no remorse or any guilt, they do not pity you, they have no mercy and they will not stop. They will tear you apart peice by peice and scar you for life and still don't stop.

They never do, they never have, they never will.

The pain that they cause will keep on coming no matter what you do about it, and so you try to forget by cutting yourself more and more and more trying to get rid of your mental pain with physical pain.

People start to notice and their words get stronger and sting worse than before but they still do not stop because it brings pleasure to their sick minds to see you in pain and to see your tears and how much it starts to eat away at you.

All they want to do is destroy you.

They still call you disgusting and worthless and so you think, maybe they would like you if you were prettier, if you had a nice body or a pretty face, you stop eating. You refuse to eat no matter how much pain it brings you and the lack of food makes you feel weak, you finally try to eat again but you can't, it is now physically pain full to have the feeling of the bite of a sandwich go down your throat and make it's way toward your stomach.

And this does no good, they don't stop saying the words that bring you so much pain. They continue to strip every bit of happiness or hope from you as you start to feel numb.

No joy. No anger. No sadness. No feeling. Just pain and emptiness.

And the depression that was just a small pit in the back of your mind has become a black hole sucking every bit of feeling from you.

You feel nothing. You are now numb.

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