Because You Loved Me-A Kaira FF

Mission: Ignore Kartik

   You'll might be thinking, what's wrong with this so called sherni, one moment she is crying, next moment fainting, or doing both at the same time. Well my dear fellas, imagine a situation where at one point of time you are so in love with a person, so much that your whole world revolves around him and then suddenly he abandons you leaving you shattered. Then you spend those months away from him trying to get over everything and when you think you are doing better, he pops back into your life as if he had never gone away. Think about that. Two very close encounters with Kartik after such a long time is the reason for my current state. Getting over him was never easy, to be frank i never could get over him. He would forever be alive in my dreams and my memories. So there is no point forgetting him but I could very well ignore him. Accept his existence, accept the fact that he is my next door neighbour and also works in the same building as mine and just go on. Simple isn't it?? That is going to be the understatement of the year.
   After throwing up a tantrum and finally chasing him outof my flat, i had a great deal of convincing to do to Payal ,to tell her that i was fine and ask her return to her flat. Half my energy had already drained by then. Now time to think of ways on how to ignore Mr.Kartik Goenka.
  1. I could stay holed up in my house the whole time, which was definitely the least possible and most absurd thing to do.
  2. I could cover head to toe like a secret ninja and just move about like a shadow. Not possible..
  3...3..3....there is no other sane way that i can keep away from him. That's the real fact. I just have to build my guts up and get ready to face him anywhere, anytime and at the same time it would be great if i didn't melt down at that very spot i see him. I have to digest the fact I am now going to see him regularly, everyday whether i want it or not. That's the universal truth and I am going to train myself to do so from this very moment.
  That's how i spent my entire sunday just mentally prepping myself for the days to come. Poor Payal ,must have been so worried about my state in the morning that she kept checking on me every now and then. I felt guilty for wasting her precious weekend like this but she says its not a big deal. She is truly my saving grace right now and i could not be more thankful. Once she is done worrying for me, i am sure she will sit along with me and plot plans to make my mission successful. Until then it's just me,myself and I.

        I was sound asleep as the activities of the day had completely drained me and left me all tired. Suddenly i could hear some rustling in the sheets and some movement on my bed. It's starting again, another dream or maybe a hallucination of mine. I feel a pair of strong arms engulf me from behind. It is definitely not true and it will all disappear once i open my eyes. But I didn't want to. I just wanted to feel his presence and support even if it's only in the fragments of my thoughts. The arms encircling me just pulled close and held onto me tighter. The very arms that had cradled me all this time and supported me. I could feel him nuzzling his face in my hair and even though i knew it was all a illusion, I felt so warm at heart. He then turned me around so that now I was facing him. I could see his handsome face clearly now and it wasn't the same anymore. The eyes that used to twinkle with happiness is  so lifeless and vacant right now. His smile, that can light up any room to maximum brightness was no longer etched to his face. He looked as worn out as me. This was all the imagination that i was conjuring up in my mind but even then it felt so real. He caressed my face so delicately, running his fingers over my face, as if registering my features. He placed a lingering kiss on my forehead, as lightly as a feather touch. The feel of his lips on my skin even if it was a dream was so magical. He then delicately kissed my closed eyes, just a whisper of his lips there that was no less than soothing. He just pulled me in closer and i too did the same. I snuggled as close  as possible just to soak up his presence. He was smoothly caressing my hair, patting my back and was gently trying to lull me to sleep. He was repeatedly placing small kisses on my head and they were so healing. This feeling i had in my heart now was too good to be true. I had so many unanswered questions and i was scared to ask them, fearing he might disappear if i spoke a word. "Why did you leave Kartik?" a question slipped from my tongue even before i could contemplate what i was doing and just like that he dissolved into thin air. It was as if my voice was the magic spell that made him disappear. Just like that, I was again all alone in this cold bed and he wasn't there anymore to keep me warm.

     Another restless night, another sweet memory that feels like a nightmare nowadays. They are those kind of dreams that once used to make you heart feel so warm that you relish those dreams but now they have become sharpest pieces that can pierce the heart. Each day it's the same. One chapter after another, from the vault of memories etched in my head, each plays it out in the form of a dream everyday. But now they are the nightmares i am scared of. They remind me of everything i have lost and something that will not forever be mine again. With that thought in head, I surrendered myself to the night, secretly praying for sleep to take control of me. Tomorrow is gonna be the start of a very difficult phase of my life that is going to be extremely tedious to get through. But i hope my mission will help me out in the process. Wish me luck fellas!!

Hey guys!!Hope u enjyd the chapter. Thanks fr all the love. Keep supporting!!