Discovery

I have always wondered what was wrong with me, was it the way I act? The way I look? Or something else? My name is Henry and I am a normal college student, I'm going to the same college as my best friend, Jack. We've known each other for a long time nad never really fought. However, today was the day when everything changed, today was the day when I discovered myself.

Like always, I have been walking to college, it's not so far away from my house, only about 20 minutes by walking. Me and Jack don't live so far away from each other but since he has lessons earlier than I do, I mostly walk alone, there are times when we do walk with each other though which is a good thing in my opinion. Me and Jake knew each other since we were about 5, now we're both 17 so we know each other for like 12 years. I have always wondered why did we never fight or why with him I felt really happy. I guess we're just friend for a while so maybe that's why I feel more comfortable around him, I guess. 

Walking with headphones and music on, I have finally arrived in my college. "Jack is probably in the lesson now." I have thought. I am sensitive person because of the things that have happened in my past and not a lot of people seem to like me but I'm not really bothered by it. I have gotten used to being alone, which seems to be a normal thing these days because Jack is busy with college, I guess I am too but he's busier which leaves us with little or no time at all to just hang out with each other like we used to pretty much everyday.

While walking to my class, I have seen 'them'. The people that always make fun of me even though I have never done anything. I seriously wonder why do people like that exist sometimes, why do you have to be mean to someone just because they are not the type to say anything back? Is it that much fun? Guess I'll never know and I don't really plan to know. 

I nearly went into the classroom when suddenly someone's arm was in front of my face, making me stop and not being able to walk in. I looked to my right and there he was - William and his little group that try to make my college life worse and worse with each day. In the morning when other people are around they just often only do the damage by words but when there are no people, they also beat me up. I have never told Jack about the bruises, I always managed to hide them so that he doesn't worry since there's not really a point in worrying about me.

"Can you please take your arm so that I can walk to the class?" I have said quietly, while staring at William.

"Wow, guys, he talks!" said William with a laughter, his group started laughing too. Ah.. this is annoying, honestly.

I took his arm and put it to the side so that I could walk to the class. He immadiently grabbed my shoulders and pushed me against the wall. This hurts but I guess I only have to endure it for now.

"Someone is getting more confidence it seems." Said William while bringing his face closer, "Do you think you will be able to run away now that your boyfriend Jack is not here?" He said with a smirk.

Boyfriend Jack? I understand that we are friends but nothing more so why did I suddenly feel a bit happy. While I was spacing out, William got closer to me.

"Um.. could you please move away?" I have asked, looking the other way since this seems really awkward. 

"Is our little Henry sad again? Are you gonna cry? Run away?" He said with a laughter, "Oh right, you don't really have anywhere to go, Jack doesn't really give a shit about you, your dad is dead and your mom is drinking her days with different guys, isn't she? Oh, how pathetic, maybe those bruises aren't only from us?" He said with a laughter, why does he know so much about me?

I have forcefully pushed his body away from me and started walking away really quickly, someone have pushed me though which resulted in me falling down. I just want to get out of here.. right now, I don't want to be here, I'll apologise to Jack later.

"Disgusting filths like you should just die." Said some girl from William's group, "You're not even a proper man and you like other men, how pathetic?"

"I DON'T LIKE OTHER MEN" I have screamed out and ran away, tears coming down my eyes.

I don't know for how long I've been running, I just wanted to run away.. something deep down really just.. hurt, what have I done wrong? I don't like Jack! I know my family isn't perfect but it's not my fault. Why does it have to be me?!

Before I knew it I found myself on the small bridge, lake around it and mountains in the distance. A place where me and Jack used to hang out as little kids, brings so many memories. I have realised that Jack was always there for me, I have a lot of appreciation for him for doing something like that to someone as worthless as I am. I sat down on the bridge and looked at the river which was slowly flowing because of the soft wind.

"I finally managed to catch up to you" Said a familiar voice.

I looked behind me and saw Jack there, all red and breathing heavily, has he been running after me? I quickly wiped the tears off of my face.

"Jack? What are you doing here?" I have said with a hesitant voice.

He was coming towards me, "Of course, I saw you in this state and ran after you, this place brings memories, doesn't it?" he said while sitting down on the bridge.

"Y-Yeah.. it does." Why am I feeling really embarassed for some reason? My face feels hot.

"Hey, you okay now?" Said Jack.

"Y-yeah, I am, thanks." I replied.

We sat in a silence, it wasn't awkward silence tho, it was a really comfortable silence.

"H-hey Jack.." I began the sentence and looked in his direction, he was looking straight into my eyes. 

"Yea?" He said with a smile.

I felt really embarassed again for some reason and my face flushed and I couldn't say anything, I just looked into his eyes.

"What's up?" He suddenly said again.

I quickly looked at my feet. Why am I feeling like this? What is happening? There was only one question going through my head.

"What would you do if you found out I'm gay and I might like you?" I have said since for some reason this question was going through my head.

I just heard a chuckle. 

"You were so embarassed, it was cute" He said.

"Huh?" I looked at him, he was staring at me again, "I would just have to accept it since you're important person to me too." he said.

My heart started beating so fast, our faces started getting closer to each other as well. "Can I?" Jack asked, his lips couple of centimetres away from my lips.

I felt a bit more confident now, knowing what I actually want after those years, finally realising why I wasn't interested in other people. 

"Do you even have to ask at this point?" I said with a smile and began to close my eyes.

We have kissed for the first time, my heart still beating really fast, out of happiness.

I have finally discovered that I was gay.