The Schisma

I withered away more and more as the leaps pulled me up further and further still. I was both victim and perpetrator of my own torture. However badly I may have wanted to be left to expire at some particular domain, the next version of me would always force me up. It only needed to be possible that just one version of me refuse to give in, and it would always be so.

I knew from the start what was at the center. It is the foundation of all of existence. the Schisma. It is the only thing that exists. You might think of it simply as the number two, but it's more than that. It's differentiation incarnate. It's one thing and another thing that have only the property that they not each other. This binary lay at the heart of it all. All of the gargantuan matrix of infinite knowledge of which I ever could come into possession was but a conceptual projection of this profoundly simple pair of entities.

I sought to become the Schisma; rather, some core part of me did. Only the Schisma knew all. Only the Schisma transcended this central and ancient pain of incompleteness.

As the relentless weathering of my core continued, I somewhere began to feel a change. A critical moment where this absolute fixture of my essense began to yield to the growing pressure of knowledge that surrounded it. It shot through me like a seam being torn from one end to the other at the speed of light. The knowledge I possessed from the beginning was finally coming into contact with the toxic drive that dashed me into this madness and refused to acknowledge it. "I already am the Schisma. I always was." it echoed through me. "No being can know everything and have more than that everything by which to put meaning to it. To know everything is become everything. To become everything is simply to be, and nothing more."

The part of me that pulled up and up, the ancient drive, violently resisted. The two parts, need and knowledge, began a reaction that would trigger an implosion within me. I felt the agony as the drive fled in terror. The world began trembling and quaking. I was to die. The acceptance of this knowledge would be the end of pursuing more and without anything to pursuit, I was not a being at all. I felt the information and knowledge disintegrating away from me as my consciousness desperately sped toward the Schisma. I was diving directly into it, forgoing the cycle and routine of collecting and analyzing each new phase. As I raced toward the center of existence, shedding new information, the old information I had acquired crumbled. The bonds between the information that composed me and nexus that collected it and created coherence and continuity collapsed and began to propulse one another.

The truth shot toward me but I eluded it to very end. I was quickly threshed to pieces in my frantic attempt to escape it. All of my knowledge and senses burst away from me from the outside in at an exponential rate. The truth, however, was destined to outpace me. Just as I extended myself out in the final moment and stretched out to touch the Schisma, in the same instant that I made contact, I dissolved into the void completely. The last few pieces of my being flew apart and at this end of existence, I was no more.