The lonely rose

Running

His life was nothing but one failure after another, from the moment he had opened his eyes he knew that nothing was going to go right for him, and in all honesty he didn't know what made him think that. It might have been a gut instinct or it could have been a voice in the back of his mind whispering to him, it didn't make either way. Not anymore, there was nothing left for him to give. He had been ignored, abused, called names, harassed, suspended and even demoted. Nothing fazed him anymore, it was strange not to care anymore. But there was only so much anyone could take and he had reached the end of his rope a long time ago.

His name was Grell Sutcliff and his life was nothing but one big joke. The worst part was it wasn't even a funny one, no it was one of the worst jokes in history, there wasn't even a good punchline at the end. All he had ever wanted was for someone to love him, his human father hadn't loved him. His human mother, bless her soul was the only woman whom he had loved. His sweet, loving mother who had taught him some very valuable life lessons, it was through her that he began to love the color red. It was the one thing that still connected him to her, red was such a beautiful color and a damning one as well.

Red reminded him that his mother was no longer among the living or the dead, no one knew what had happened to her. The only thing that anyone ever found was a pool of crimson where her body had been, it was on that day that the color had burned itself into his mind. He wished that he could go back in time, he wished that he had told his mother that he loved her more often. But he knew that he couldn't change the past, no matter how much he wanted to and he wanted to badly.

He knew that the past controlled him, he knew that he couldn't let it go. He didn't want to let it go either, not if it meant that he would lose the last memories of her. Regret was something that he was very familiar with, he lived with it day in, day out. He knew that he wasn't normal not by anyone's standards, he knew that he was a man. It was hard not to notice that fact, but there was a reason that he called himself a lady, even though he wasn't. From a very young age Grell had learned that if people knew what you were really feeling, then they would use it against you. It was that reason that he had created a mask, a flamboyant, gender confused idiot. It kept people away, people didn't want to get to know the screw up.

It was a mask that he still used.

Despite wanting to be loved, he found it hard to let go of the mask that he had worked so hard to create, the worst part was no one had noticed. Not a single person.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or cry, because how had no one noticed?

Not that it mattered not anymore, he was through, he was not going to be anyone's punching bag anymore. He was going to leave and that was all there was to it, there was nothing here for him not anymore. He had packed everything that he was going to take with him, he wasn't going to say goodbye, mainly because he didn't have anyone to say goodbye to. Eric had Alan they didn't need a third wheel, William, that was something that still hurt considering the fact that he had found William in bed with Ronald that had been a devastating blow. It hurt far more than what he was willing or wanted to admit, they should have just told him. Grell knew that he wasn't in love with William, he had killed them feelings for the other man years ago. Sebastian, he didn't love at all, but he did love the idea of painting the demon red with his own blood.

Grell had given his heart to another man, but the other man was far out of his league. He had fallen in love with a legend, a being who was said to be Death's right hand man. The Shinigami known as the Undertaker.

Grill wasn't foolish enough to think of believe that the other man would return his feelings, his heart wouldn't be able to take another rejection. So he had kept his mouth shut, he wasn't going to make an even bigger fool of himself. A tired sigh left his lips, he was so very tired.

There was nothing left for him to give, lifeless eyes looked around the empty apartment. An empty apartment that represented his life, dull, boring and empty. This part of his life was over, it was time for a new part to begin. The only thing he would regret leaving behind was his scythe, but he wasn't going to need it. Not anymore.

With one last look around his empty apartment, Grell Sutcliff left, leaving no trace of himself behind.

It would take months before anyone realised that something was wrong, that no one had seen Grell in almost a year. But it was too late, Grell was nowhere to be found. His scythe had been left behind, there was no physical trace of him anywhere. Many of them wrote him off, calling him a coward, a deserter, traitor, but there was one person who wasn't going to let Grell get away.

It was time for a legend to come out of retirement and go hunting.