20 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen
Haha, enjoy!
1. Call him Eddy, all the time
2. Prance around singing "I'm a Barbie Girl" repeatedly in your head when he's in 'hearing' distance
3. Visualize yourself naked and covered in blood. Ask him if he wants you.
4. Call him a liar when he says no
5. Smash into his Volvo on purpose
6. Redecorate his room in a care bear theme
7. Replace all of his CDs with songs from Disney movies
8. Call him a stalker
9. Tape porn to his walls
10. Make sure Bella sees them
11. Draw on all his Bella pictures with permanent marker
12. Call Bella and threaten to kill her if she doesn't give you a pack of skittles
13. Take him to Victoria's secret with Alice
14. Post his phone number and address on e-harmony
15. Throw boysenberry flavored muffins at him every time he tries to speak
16. Visualize all the Cullen family members naked
17. Tell him Bella is pregnant and eloping with Mike Newton
18. Tell him you were kidding when he murders Mike
19. Constantly remind him that he almost lost Bella to a dog
20. Ask him why he's not as hot as Robert Pattinson
"I've been here every night...watching you sleep..." -Edward
"Oh Edward, that is ever so romantic!" -Bella
STALKERS. They're NOT romantic. They're CREEPY. Call the cops.
