Note: Only one update today because busy. 😊
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Laura
I saw that Benjie had been sending me messages via Facebook but I didn't open any of them. I needed to talk to Ethan first.
Another friend messaged me and urged me to talk to Benjie.
"Sige na, you guys have to sort things out after how it ended."
I replied, "I don't feel like we need to 'sort out' anything, but yes I would like to talk and I will. I just have to make sure my Ethan is comfortable and understands why I want to talk to Benjie."
"Why? Kakausapin mo lang naman."
Siyempre naman, he's done so much to make sure I don't lose faith in him, I'm determined to do the same. Seeing that this friend, who was more Benjie's friend naman talaga, wouldn't understand my position, I just said, "I'll speak to Ethan first."
Work was hectic for us, so I only had the chance to bring it up on the weekend. I hated that it was a date day when I would mention it but shrugged it off. Better this than over the phone.
At the restaurant,
"Ethan?"
"Yes, Ni?"
"I saw Mina last week and..."
"Uy! Talaga? Ako hindi ko na nakikita yun."
"She's fine naman. But... uh... she told me kasi that my ex contacted her. He, uhm, wants to talk me."
He visibly stiffened, and gave a rueful smile. "Funny. Alam mo ba my ex just contacted me, too?"
"What? When?! What does she want?" Anong meron sa stars ngayon at naglalabasan ang lahat ng ex?!
"Later ako magkekwento. Ikaw muna," he said. "So, do you want to see him?"
"No. It's not that I want to. I remember when you told me I had to learn to forgive myself and I did, thanks to you. Ito lang, since he was the one who reached out, I was considering seeing what he wanted to say, since ako naman din yung nakipag-break and nakasakit," I explained. I also told him that Benjie had been sending messages to me.
"Hmmm okay. Sige."
"Payag ka?"
"You're asking my permission?"
I thought about it. "Not exactly... but I won't go through with it if you're not comfortable."
"Honestly, I'm not, but I won't stop you."
"Why? What's bugging you? Pwede ko bang malaman?"
He was quiet for a moment. "It's... the thought of you being with someone you used to love, I guess? Siyempre gusto ko ako lang yung love mo, but I can't deny that it used to be him. There's a part of me also that wonders, what if magkita ulit kayo and you realize you made a mistake by letting him go."
"Ethan, hey..." I pulled my chair closer and kissed his nose. I appreciated his honesty but was hating that I was making him feel this.
I decided then to send Benjie a message that meeting up was probably not a good idea, which I made sure Ethan saw.
"No, teka. Bawiin mo. You need this talk. Sige na. I'll be okay."
"No. Not if it means you'll have doubts. I will forever be sorry for hurting Benjie like that, but I won't make this mistake with you."
