First love

First love
At 17 years old I got my heat broken by a boy who I thought would be in my future. They say " you're  to young to fall in love" but love is no age . You can't help when you fall in love or who you fall in love with. I don't really know how you fall in Love but when your in love you just know it's love! And when love ends it shatters you like broken glass cutting against your skin well technically your heart. I knew I loved him from the moment we had our first conversation on the phone and the way he made me laugh. The little things he did like trace my hand and tell me I'm beautiful ( something every girl wants to hear) or maybe it was the way he made me feel like he'd never leave ... until one day he did.

Heartbreak such an evil word to such a fragile heart. There is no way to sugar coat a heartbreak it honestly feels like your heart is being shattered into little pieces slowly while the other person seems perfectly fine.. at least that's how I felt. They say Your first heartbreak hits the hardest ( and for me it did)I'm not gonna lie it wasn't easy at all. I gave my all to someone who just threw me to the side like I wasn't enough.

As a young girl I dreamed of " finding my Prince Charming and running off into the sunset " but that was not the case in my first love. He pretended to be everything I wanted him to be and as our relationship went on , I found out who he truly was and I found out I wasn't in love with him heck I never even loved him I was in love with who he was pretending to be. I couldn't believe I let him into my heart and him to just throw it away and walk away like it was nothing but he never really cared about me and it showed.

Heartbreak... Something no one wants to face but in a lifetime you will face.

Letting someone come into your life and hope they don't break you in half is a scary feeling and for me letting someone in wasn't easy. I didn't see him coming and looking back I wish I would've just walked away.. It would have saved me so much heartache. I didn't plan to fall in love  with who I thought he was but the lies he told seemed so true at the beginning that I just couldn't let go. He made me feel safe and loved at first. I slowly let him into my heart. He promised he wouldn't be like the rest. The rest that hurt me, but isn't that what they all say until they break your heart? Hearing people say "He really loved you" makes me laugh now because when you truly love someone seeing them in pain should tear you apart. I remember thinking to myself Love... it shouldn't hurt this much. But I think they were just telling me that to make me feel better. Now it's been a  couple of months my heart is slowly patching piece by piece back together to heal itself. I am starting to love myself more and know my worth again. Some people don't understand the feeling they must be really lucky. They say "That's why I don't date in high school" but it happens all the time even if you're not in high school. It scares me now though even thinking of letting someone close enough to hurt me again as he did. I want to someday meet someone that treats me how I should be treated and to make me forget of all the ones who didn't. I learned that "Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth" and " Some things you can't just get up and walk away from even if the other person does, some things have to hurt for a while".