Peddie- Pressing Play

All it took was one light. One red light; that changed me. Him. Us. Now his life has been paused and I just wish I could press play but only he can press play.

I have no control.

I wish I could go back in time and change what lead to this. I know it's my fault. I know I should've stopped him from leaving. I know-

"It's not your fault. He ran the red light, you didn't make him do that." Joy is obviously attempting to console me and it's obviously not working. You don't see them for over four years but as soon as someone's in a coma they come running back. She has no right to try and picture how I feel. She has no right to be here. She has no right to care.

They don't think I should be alone. Though I would rather be alone with my thoughts than with them continuously telling me how it's not my fault. I would rather blame myself than him.

I keep thinking over past conversations, promises, kisses. I know that I'm reminiscing to try and hold on, holding on is better than letting go. I think I'm trying to remember everything as if preparing for the worst. The worst being death.

*Flashback*

I stare at him unable to speak. Literally. Damn that ghost and her stupid hunt for a piece of metal. "This is my last attempt Patricia" he's using hand gestures to signal that he is being deadly serious. I continue to stare intently unable to say that I forgive him. "Okay." He sighs "I've apologised for not telling you about the secret. I told you I liked you which..." He exhales in an almost dramatic fashion. It's quite cute actually. Not that I would ever admit this to anyone. "You know is not easy for me and I do..genuinely believe that deep down you like me too" I'm pretty sure that's the end if his speech. He's waiting for my reply but he's not going to get one. He literally can't have one. "C'mon your killing me! What do I have to do to get a reaction?" It's almost a yell and I know I need to something now. To save what we could have. I hastily fling my arm around his neck pulling him closer. No time like the present for a first kiss, right? I crash my lips to his releasing the built up passion we blatantly have for each other. Pulling away a perfect Eddie smirk slides onto his face as does a slight glint to his eye. "That'll work"

*End of flashback*

I can feel a small smile grace my lips at the short memory of my first kiss. Our first kiss. Many more memories flood my mind as I sit in the now vacant waiting room.

1 day later

They've got nothing to tell me. Nothing. I just want to sit with him, tell him to get his head in gear and wake up, to tell him I love him, to tell him that I'm sorry. If he doesn't...make it, I will never forgive myself. Ever.

1 week later

I still remember the argument that lead to this. Some things you just remember too clearly. It is definitely one of those things. I need him to know that I never meant what I said. I don't want him to leave believing that what I said was true. It's not. It never will be.

1 month later

"Miss Williamson?" A short red headed nurse asks coming to a stop in front of me. "Yes. That's me" I say standing quickly yet shakily. "Mr Edison is asking for you" she sounds polite but the way she's shooting daggers and eyeing me as if I'm something on the bottom of her shoe I would guess she's not that nice. Are they even supposed to use first names?

"I would appreciate it if you didn't give me that look"

"Miss! What look do you speak of?" Her mock gasp makes her seem like an airhead playing an airhead. "That was extremely believable" I say adding heavy sarcasm before stalking in the general direction of his room.

I would go and apologise for being rude but, hey, I don't care.

"Is he awake?" I ask frantically when a doctor exits the room. He gives me the same look as that airhead nurse but I shrugged it off this time just wanting to see him. "Only immediate family miss" he says staring at the blank clipboard. It's obviously blank and he has no pen so what is the point in looking at it?

"I'm his wife" I say loudly. I know it's a lie but right now I just want to see that spiked blonde head and that know it all smirk. "There are no records of-"

"We eloped!" I say "At the weekend!" I quickly add unsure of how they get their information. He silently, disapprovingly, nods his head towards the door before walking away with a sour look on his face. Wow. Service here sucks.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, tight. I push through the door, eyes still closed. I can feel the familiar scent of him full my nostrils at the same time as I feel the slight gust of air from the closing door. I take another deep breath, inhaling him. Even if it's mostly hospital chemicals.

I don't dare open my eyes, afraid of how he'll look. "So we're married?" I can feel the smirk before I see it. I can see the blonde before my eyes are open. I can feel his touch before contact is made. I can feel him. "How do you look?" I ask shakily stepping forward. Only a small step as my eyes are still shut. "Handsome" he replies cockily. I raise my eyebrows even though my eyelids remain over my pupils. "Open your eyes" he whispers. Slowly but surely my eyes flutter open and I'm soon staring into his. I half skip half walk to his bed where I sit and bury myself in him.

"Shh I'm okay. We're going to be okay" he says it over and over and over. "I didn't mean it. I didn't. I swear I could never-" I begin mumbling and stumbling over my words as the awaiting tears fall onto his horrid hospital gown. "I was so worried. They said a day was expected. They said a week was out of the ordinary. They said a month is when they prepare to turn the life support off. I wouldn't have had a say. You said you would never leave me. I was worried. So worried." I say replacing my head on his chest. "You shouldn't have been worried. You should've known" my heart drops at his words. Known what?

"What? What should I have known?" I ask lifting my face.

"That I would never leave you without saying goodbye" my face visibly softens at his words. "Kiss me" I demand playfully.

"Quite demanding aren't you?" He says smirking once again.

"Just do it" I sigh in mock exaggeration. So he does. He kisses me.

It's our first kiss in 39 days.

It's our first kiss in 938 hours.

That one red light paused his life and finally, he decided to press play.