A/N - This is just a bunch of sappy shit I needed to get off my chest.
I am in no way expecting this to get any reads at all and there are more things I can say but it's way too invasive and sad so I'm not even going to try.
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I recall the day you told me that you would consume anything I prepared, even if it was poisonous. I remember my tiny self being conflicted about why you would want that. I remember me being so terrified of you and wailing as loud as possible because you were unfamiliar to me.
You just weren't around.
My little mind never grasped the fact that you were out there, forgetting meals and missing sleep to provide us with a better life. I grew up knowing who you were but still not being as comfortable around you as I should have been. You held importance in my life and you still do.
The tragedy that had to occur for me to realize what you were and what I would lose if you weren't here, scarred and bruised my heart.
I walked into that disgustingly pasty white hospital room, donned in your favourite brown dress just because I wanted you to wake up from your three days of continuous slumber, to see you with pipes going down your mouth and wires here and there along with the steady beating of your heart.
I didn't want to see the man I looked up to my whole life be in a situation like this because you never deserved it. It was at that moment that I wanted to be closer to you, know if you are having your meals, know if you are catching your much needed sleep and most of all know that I loved you.
My nine year old self was determined you'd come back to us with that carefree smile. That you'd recover. And you did just that.
I remember you calling for me as you woke up and I sheepishly gave you a kiss on the cheek and handed over a small figurine I had gotten for you. You smiled and set me on your bed next to you as I cuddled in and made up for lost time.
That week will always be forever indented into my brain. I will forever be indebted to the educated man who helped you get back to us in the best condition. You finally got out of that sterile smelling hospital that I grew to hate.
Sometime went on forth. You got back in business, literally, and went on to do pretty well while I was here, alone with my guardian, going to school.
I called mom every day and talked to you as well. I missed you but I would never admit it for your good. It was all for my wellbeing after all...right?
Well, I grew up, I became sarcastic, I became downright rude, but never to you guys and most especially never to you. Every rare time I see you, when you visit me or I visit you, you would always be upfront awaiting your long desired hug from your little "Gem".
So just so you know, I cherish you. You make me smile, you make my day from your corny jokes and horrid dance moves along with your terrible singing.
I will always remember that dad that hugged me when I was scared about a monster under my bed. I will always remember the dad who praised my tea which made my small chest puff up with pride. I will always remember the dad that fought through depression. I will always remember the dad who read me stories and swung me to sleep when he could. I will always remember the dad that gives me hope.
Look where your hard work got us. I know I'm your child but I am so proud of you and I am so enthralled to be able to deserve someone like you in my life. I love you so much, even though I never express it, besides, you express enough for the both of us.
Just know... I'm so very happy to be your daughter.
