Walking alone into a large tunnel filled with roses , different types of them with numerous different colors . Such a marvelous and wonderful scene to watch. It seems very familiar to Wisteria Tunnel at the Kawachi Fuji Gardens in Japan , maybe it is the same or maybe not .
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Holding my mobile phone while walking alone in this gorgeous, beautiful and amazing tunnel , honestly I was crying a little bit , laughing a little also.
But then . .
" Oh wait , I smell something. Something so beautiful but also so familiar. Wait , I smell her perfume! Whe- Where is she , where did she go or where did she come from?! WHERE ARE YOU?!! "
" I'm always here Towa , here for you "
I heard her voice as if she was talking inside of me, inside of my mind or maybe inside of my heart. I could not endure and began crying , I cried so much . I was trembling
"Whe- Where are y-y you , p-p p-p please t-t tell me , Um-m I really miss you "
She laughed , I heard her laugh , her beautiful ,sweet laugh . I began to act as a maniac , running around the place , as if we were playing hide and seek.
" Oh Towa , I'm inside you, inside your head , inside your heart , inside every organ of you that still thinks of me , you won't see me now probably . "
I called her by her nickname , which I don't want to tell because that's a something between me and her , it meant much for me . Her nickname meant three things : Peach blossom or the good smell , perfume also it meant Equivalence and Lamplight . If you think about these three meanings you'll find that these describe her very well . But most importantly , she was the light which guides me in many , many decisions in my life . So let's just refer to her as " My rose " .
" My rose , I'm so worried about you , are you okay ? I've been messaging you , calling you for several days. Tell me what happened "
" Nothing happened dear , i'm fine , you should also be fine too . Because I honestly can't live if you connected your existence in this world by my existence in your life. "
"My rose , stop lying to me , you are not fine , and I will not be fine , and you will live and exist in my life believe it or not . "
" Don't push it up so hard Towa please , I can't bear to hear this from you , I'm a chapter in your life and it was finished. Not because you are bad , or I was bad . We were perfect for each other. It was because life was not fair , life is not fair , and life won't be fair "
" If you have a dream you should insist on achieving it my rose , that's my way in life "
" In my case no Towa , you should not insist . It is as if you are waiting a ship to sail at the airport . It won't happen , even if you believed in that , it won't , your beliefs won't change the destiny ! "
" Please don't tell such nonsense "
" That's a fact Towa, whether you liked it or not , and we two knew it from the beginning aren't we ? "
I was hiding my tears , constantly . But how could I hide something from my soulmate ? The only person in this world that understands every action I take , understands every thing I do whether it was wrong or right .
"Stop crying Towa , please stop , it makes me sad too you know . Watching my man constantly crying because of me . It is unbearable . Please . stop it ."
" I will my rose, I will . But tell me "
"Yes my dear "
" Won't be any random moment , any random scenario , like the one that happened when I saw you first , among more than 150 people , that could unite us again ? "
" Honestly I don't know , but I think not . Don't get mad at me and understand me wrong Towa , I want that to happen of course . But If you put all your dreams and hopes on one single random moment that doesn't have more than 5% to happen , it will hurt you so badly And I don't want to see you hurt please "
" I see a glimmer of hope my rose "
She smiled her pure innocent beautiful smile again , which melted my feelings then .
" You're a hopeless case Towa , stubborn from day one we met each other . Even on that day when you kept staring at me , we had an eye contact , but you also kept staring , you did not care who saw you staring , as if I'm your goal , your dream and you will reach it whatever it costs . "
" Yes my dear you're my goal . I adore you "
I then woke up from my lovely dream , yes it was a lovely dream , it was lovely because I had the opportunity to see her once more. I honestly have slept just four hours . I was awake for like 50 hours and then took a break with this lovely dream , to complete my suffering and disturbance in the sad reality . Whatever , I don't know will I write another chapter. But my rose , I don't know where are you now , but I love you .
