The Green House

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01

2017[age 18]

Ajsa

Darce screamed for hours it seemed as I kept checking in the window to see if she had stopped. She hadn't. She didn't stop until someone else noticed. Darce wasn't in her room anymore, they took her away.

The woman visited me today, she told me it was Monday which meant yesterday was Sunday. I used to go to churches on Sunday's, I felt a pang of guilt hit my chest as I remember going to church with my family every Sunday and go out for lunch after.

I love Mondays. I love how perplexingly beautiful they are. I love how other days could feel like a Monday but they aren't Monday's and Monday's never feel like a Monday. As if Monday was hiding from something.

The woman asked me her usually questions but then her phone rang. She quickly looked at it reading the message she had gotten on it and shut the ringer off. She picked up her phone once again and giggled slightly.

"Can you tell me about your family?" She shrugged her shoulders and put her phone down. I refused to answer any more of her questions.

"No." My voice was icy as I willed my voice not to waver.

"Come on Ajsa I can't help you if you don't talk to me" Her chin wobbled with her words, she wasn't crying or on the verge of tears, she just had extra skin there. "I can't help you if you are not cooperating. I've been talking to you for two months now and you gave me no information about your past." She began to pack up her things and stood up again, she eyed the post-its I placed on the floor the other day and purposely dragged the chair harshly against the floor to make more scuff marks. "You need help." She pointly told me before she slammed my door.

I calmed my insides down, I hadn't meant to upset her the way I did.

I picked up my post-its and I felt her fiery gaze through the little window I turned to her and looked at her dark brown eyes. I sauntered over to the door and smiled through the window. The door was the only thing between us but I was much taller than the woman was so I had to look down. I picked up my post-its and began covering the window of the door. I covered up her shocked expression and tossed my post-its on my bed.

I felt the doorknob began turned as I held it in place refusing her entrance to my room. I was weak but I was still stronger than her as I banged on the window and the fight stopped. I kept my hand on the doorknob for a few more seconds before letting it go completely. Picking up the post-its I covered yet another scuff mark and put them back in the drawer. The janitor still didn't clean up the first one.

I heard the door creak open slightly and my heart began a drum solo in my chest. Floppy aging grey hair tufts came into view and I relaxed.

The door opened fully as a man with ugly white clogs came over with a tray in his hands. The pills. I hated the pills. He said good morning to me with a smile and handed me the pills. I took the orange container and held it in my hands. He stood there waiting for me. I sighed and dropped them in my mouth at the same time. I held them captive between the space of my cheek and teeth and false swallowed. I placed the orange container back on the tray.

He pointed upwards and I opened my mouth and lifted my tongue. The pills kept put as he smiled and put his hand in his pocket.

"Here I noticed you left this at the lunchroom a few days ago" My ring was nestled in the palm of his hand. The light amethyst gem shining as I took it.

"Thank you so much" I replied as I slid the ring onto my finger and examined it. He left and I quickly spit the pills out into my hand tossing them under the dresser. I didn't like drinking them, they made me feel not myself and I liked myself.

I twirled the ring around my finger nervously as I thought of all the possibilities that could happen to me now that I made the woman mad. I didn't even know her name and she's been here for two months. Two months. That's a lot of time. My heart slightly dropped when she said that, it's been two months and I'm still not better. My finger shook as I shoved my hands in pockets and laid down on the bed.

I breathed just like Dad taught me in nervous situations. Breathe in for five seconds, hold, breathe out for seven. My ragged pants were not calming down. I needed air. I needed air.

I got up and opened the very small outdoor window each room got. The view I had was supposedly the worst one out of all the rooms but I liked it anyways. I shoved my head through the small gap between the window and the frame. I breathed in heavily as I watched people walk by down on the ground. I was pretty high up as I wondered what would happen if the window was big enough to jump out of.

I took my head out and shoved my hand through the window feeling the cold air harshly nip my skin I moved my arm through the wind. It reminded me of road trips when I stuffed my little hand out of the window and let the wind carry it. The smell of summer with honey dew and wet dog invaded my senses. I loved road trips with the Morana family. My family. My heart warmed slightly and I reeled back, taking my hand out of the window I shut it closed. My throat closed up slightly as I forced myself to take breaths between my silent wails.