I hate that you're so far gone from me now, I've ventured back full circle with the misery of being alone, being the outcast that needs and wants too much. The chaotic spaz with no where to belong, no one to call my own. I needed you more than life it's self. My best friend, companion, my one true person. I'm so lost now most days, spiraling in my pit. Every time I try I have no control, 0-100 in .003 I feel/ think if I dump myself out, most my life story it's gonna hit someone where it matters, but I am alone in my travels. I lost you, the one I needed most. I lost you and now you're just my ghost. I'm haunted, hurt, cursed. It's said you can't be half in, half out. That's where my troubles lie. Can't keep flipping the switch have to pick one and commit. It's always night when it hits. I want the impossible, can't have it both ways though. I'm lost, where'd he go? No one knows... it's said truth and love are what's to behold and I'm just growing old, half cold; I crave the sun. If you've felt the heat of a thousand suns how could you desire to burn? I'm a fiend for that feel, that smell; its intoxicating. Last time I escaped it was in drugs, drinks and madness. Life is such a test of death. You saw the light in me lit me up like a Christmas tree, now look at me just as dead as one. I heard it whisper like always. I've heard both sides scream. What am I doing? What am I doing here? I've gone through hell so many times over and over again. I'd choose it, take your pain, demons, I'd go through hell. I prefer the fight, I prefer that pain; anything is better than this. I crossed lines, broke rules, chase being used just to have and feel. I can't spare him, I can't save him, I can't help him, but none see him. I need the net for when I fall off the high wire, through the fire. What you selling, I'm the buying. One day it will be the same but everyone else will be on the opposite side with the same pain. One day it was always suppose too late.
