Hurt ♥ A Niall Horan Fan Fiction

Chapter 1

Tessa's P.O.V:

*15 years old*

I had tons of mixed emotions, we were moving back to Dublin... My dad got moved here for his work. First he was sent to America, and my mom being the supportive women she is she decided to move our whole family there. Luckily for me! If not I wouldn't have grown up to be so mentally fucked up.

I've got through therapy, and I've had an Eating Disorder for eight years. I've recovered from that and I've also recovered from self-harm and depression.  I'm proud of myself!

This is where all my nightmares were hosted, and everybody hated me because I stood out. I was mocked and beaten, violated and torn. Nobody was there to help me. If somebody was bullied wouldn't you want to stick up for them? Why is society so fucked up that way? Everybody always says that they would help somebody who was being bullied... I wish all those people who say that would be there for me. Why am I talking about it like I'm still in the past? Maybe, this time it will work out differently.

But, my cousin would be moving in with us, and going to school with me. So, I wasn't completely helpless. I was more than glad for her to move in. We were like sisters! Her name was Karmin. She was always there for me. I told her about Niall and his crew, but she nodded. She was very quiet during the whole process of me telling her. I think she mostly didn't believe me, but at the same time she felt for me.

The cuts on my wrists, though, were constant reminder of my past. It also reminded I'm ugly, and gross, and unwanted by almost everybody in this town. I hated the feeling of knowing I was being put through so much hurt, by my secret crush. Is it gross to say I miss Niall? Even though, he hurt me so much. I think it is. I hate that part of me that tells me I love him still.  

But I didn't like him still did I? If I did I would never allow it to happen... not that he would ever want me. Wow, what am I thinking? I'm so stupid and naive. Why would any guy ever pay attention to you silly child?

We had just gotten off the plane and gotten into a taxi, to be taken home. Well, to our new house. That'd be weird to go home to the exact place I used to live. I left the room quite messy all the time, being the child that I was.

The winding roads twisted and twirled. Dublin hadn't changed at all. It was green everywhere, where grass lie down, and the trees as well.  There was this one village somewhere in Ireland I went before where cottages still lived, it was an adorable place.

Rain pelted the windows, and the sky had a grey effect. It was literally the most beautiful thing to me. I could watch the rain all day and never get bored. One of the few reasons I'm glad to be back to Ireland. In the states it would hardly rain where we lived. Sadly, we lived in a pretty dry state. It would rain once in a very long while and it was annoying. I live for the rain. Rain is life. It's so calming and that's something I couldn't get from any other thing.

I looked at my reflection in the small window. My face had curiosity printed onto, and my eye showed something that I had wanted to forget. Something so apparent in which nobody ever noticed or could see. I wish I could find somebody who saw the pain in my eyes. There wasn't anybody out there to notice or give a damn. You could always go to someone who is paid to give a shit about your life, but how fulfilling will that ever end to be?

I pulled a strand of my amethyst colored hair, behind my ear. The reflection mimicking my every action, my lips part barely showing my white aligned teeth. Though, if I hadn't gotten braces years ago then my teeth wouldn't be so perfect. I guess they were annoying and painful and ugly, but in the end made my teeth look glimmering.

The car pulled into an unfamiliar neighborhood, the houses tall and all perfectly aligned. So beautiful and built in such a way you couldn't help but awe at it. To think we'd be living in one of these houses was actually unbelievable. I always thought because of how people treated me I should always get less. I should never get the upper hand and I should never feel the best or at least normal.