Max X suicidal reader (camp camp)

Carry on in life

I never expected myself to end up this way. I never wanted myself to be this way. But it is what it is now. And you can't fix it. I can't fix it. Nobody can fix it. It's just something that happens to be with no cure to the soul and mind.

The demons are just to clingy. Always crowding around me, as if I'm the vulnerable prey that helplessly, and always gets backed away into a dark corner of the deep oblivion by the predator. So helpless and scared, confused even. An absent mind that just prays for the better outcome. But, then for only to be no better outcome. Crying out desperately as the dark then sinks in more and more. Leading my thoughts into one of doom. Until finally,.......I've had enough. And I get dragged down into a black world of nothing but per agony. And then it's up to my one last choice to tell it all. To stay. Or to leave.

Which brings me to this one choice now. Standing near of the edge of the grassy hill, the one relief I could have forever,....or, the more insufferable way. Staying in the grasp of the devil himself. Staying alive. But I think I know my answer. It's been clear to me for a while now. For weeks even. And having to be in a world were your not welcome, is always so very unpleasant. My parents don't love or treat me as I should be. I'm always the one to clean, make the meals, take care of the dog and little siblings. And to top it off, I'm the abused one. My parents only ever cared for my two twin little brothers. Because guess what? They never, ever considered wanting to have a girl. And I, of course, happen to be one.

So, what's the point in living if you also can't make any friends either? You see, ever since I have also been sent to Camp Campbell to get out of my parents hair, nobody has ever tried to be kind to me. It's only insults, rude comments or judge mental remarks begging sent my way. David and Qwen don't even seem to notice either. Witch sucks. In fact, the only one person who ever. And when I say ever, I mean EVER noticed me in the kindest way. Was Max. A fairly skin toned boy, with dark black puffy hair, quiet the asshole sometimes, and has these most beautiful light green mint eyes. Oh gosh. How I loved his eyes. Filled with so much pain, but yet so much care if you look deep enough.

Oh well though, to bad I won't ever be able to see them again. Or Max in general really. So, with that I shakily step closer to the edge of the cliff. Raising my head towards the sky, taking a big deep breath of the fresh clean air. Tears building up into my eyes, some escaping through my eyelashes as to many build up against each other in a big pool of sadness. Then tilting forward, towards the calling of my name and grasp of the gravity that pulls me down. And soon to be off the cliff. I start falling.

But.............that is until something pulled me back, in a very tight grasp the person then lands onto their back. Laying on the soft, but yet hard ground as my back pressed onto their warm chest. I blink in confusion, but mostly surprise. After all,...who would be willing to save a meaning less, broken creature such as myself. Turning my head over my shoulder as to see who it is, my eyes widen in shock. More tears coming back in a big rush. Chocking down a sob. Max. The one I love, saved me.

I then saw Max look at me. He has tears in his eyes that are threatening to spill. And reaching out with one of his hands, he strokes my hair, moving the stray pieces out of my face before pulling me down more. Still back against chest. Max keeps stroking my hair until turning me around to face him. He try's putting on a stern face, but can only manage with a broken one do to his sudden sadness and probably fear of my lose. Gripping onto my shirt tightly, he tugs me down until we're only inches apart from one another's faces. We were so close that I could feel his breath on me. "Why....why would you? Why would you do that you idiot?!" Saddened from the pain that I have caused him, I started sobbing. Burying my head into his chest as I kept on crying. Hugging Max in a tight grip. Max doing the same.

It took a long time. But after a while I calmed myself into just hiccups and slight sniffles. And I then calmly lock gazes with Max again. "I don't think I'm ready to tell you yet, but I promise I will at some point." Smiling weakly Max nods in understanding. "That's okay, just carry on in life with me. And everything will be alright. Because I....I love you." Leaning down I peck his cheek softly, but with love and compassion, I reply whole heartedly: "I love you to, max. I love you to."