Pathetic isn't it? We are all put on this world to live, have children and die, right? There's really nothing more to it. And anyway what impact on this universe will we make. Compered to everything we are the size of a dust spec. A tiny little dot in the universe, smaller then a cell. I wonder if we all just destroy this world because we know that it has hardly any impact on the universe, and it's are ways of slowly killing are selves. After all, we are the only living things know to man and woman at the minute.
Love? What is the meaning of that word? What is love? How would one describe it? A strong feeling of sentimental attachment to something or someone? Or a word people just throw around as if it means something? Or maybe, a feeling man made up, animals don't feel it after all...
Human, the worst animal anyone or anything could think of. just the mention of anything close makes my tummy turn. Polluting this this world as if it's worth less then it already is. Being mean and rude to others that don't deserve it. Hunting, killing, watching and catching animals for fun...
Friends and trust. both, something I will never have. I've always wanted a friend, someone to tell all your secrets to, all your dark thoughts and not get judged. Wouldn't that be great, a non judge mental human. Ha! Call me when one is found.
Ugh! want am I doing, thinking like this, this is dumb. This is just upsetting me more. I should probably get up and go do something I guess, the outdoors seems like a good idea right now. I use to love going outdoors, have picnics, play tag with... Ye I should just get up.
I look around before pushing myself off my bed and then head to the back door. I get a old rusty key from my pocket and open the door. outside looked abandoned. over grown, golden, yellow grass and rose bushes. a huge tree with a old swing now making it look creepy. And, in the cornor stood a old broken picnic table next to a rusted old barbeque.
wow... It looks... Different, guess this shows how often I go outside now. I rember this place being more happy, full of life. Birds would be flying everywhere. There was a pond full of fish and frogs and other things, I probably can't see t anymore due to the long grass. Rose bushes of all colours would line are garden, they were in rainbow order thanks to me. We would sit at the picnic table and use chat and somtimes invited people over for a barbeque. A cat would always visit here to use his cuteness for free food or to chatch a fish or a bird and over time became familey and wasn't ours. he always liked cats..... UGH! Lillian you came out here to clear your mind not think of him!
This place use to look so pretty... Now it's a mess... Like the memories from this place.. Glad he isn't here to see it. It'd upset him. I should try to fix it... I never was good with plants but I can try. Always try? Right? That's what everyone tells you.
I get stuff out of a shed next to the house and start working on the garden. I started by cutting and watering the grass and then worked on fixing the roses. one thing led to another and soon enough the garden looked a bit better. still run down though soon as everything was dying or broken. I found the pond in all the mess, All the creatures in it had vanished and the water was green and gross. I may have somehow fixed the garden but i have no clue on how to do the pond. I guess it'll have to stay like that for now.
hello everyone who read this! This was the first thing i ever wrote back in 2018.... it was originally going to be about me and my boyfriend at the time. WELL HE WAS A JERK! so i changed my dead name to lillian and i guess now it's sit here as a memory. it'd kind of be a shame to delete something i was really proud of back then! not going to lie I forgot about this, i logged in to write stories as a form of self therapy. After noticing i use to have an account i was going to go throug everything then delete it, but after re reading this I remember how happy i was with it! I shown my nan and i was super excited i thought it was great. Not long after that asshole abandoned me so i forgot about it and i never finished it or even shown it to anyone else... it's kind of sad really... doing something to surprise someone just for them to leave you before they can even see? it was meant to be about how but he helped me at the time and was very accurate to how i felt back then.. and my... um... well she knows who she is... what to call her at the moment though is... complicated... but im not here to get into that!! thank you for reading this piece i was so proud of what feels like many years ago.. a lot sure has change and im not just talking covid :p anyway. goodbye. - Sam, Friday 16th April 2021 at 01:57am
and to the me of the past... i will publish this for you. so hopefully maybe someone will find it one day.
