The Struggles and Confessions of a Military Girlfriend.

Day 22

Monday, May 28th, 2018
Approximately 155 days to go.

Memorial Day. 

Today is Memorial Day and for many its just another day of fun and bbq and being off of work but for me, it was so much more than that. Today was I day I would spend thinking about fallen soldiers while mine was on the other side of the world. More specifically today I would spend the day thinking about and missing my grandfather. I missed him in so many ways. I missed the way that he would feed me and my friends after school or how he would drag me up and make me dance with him while we would listen to oldies. I would think about how he would tell me war stories and how he was part of the reason I so desperately wanted to join the military. I thought about the apartment that he lived in when we first lived in Colorado and the house he later moved into before we left where he stayed until the last day. I remembered his voice and the way it would crack when we would tell him about Ivan and Nadia and all of us. It had been awhile since I had spoken to him before we had received the news.  The news that my grandfather was dying. So many people had little to no clue as to what memorial day stood for and yet here I was sitting outside and looking at the mountains and wishing I could have one last conversation with my grandpa. I wish I could ask him about what he thought about me going into the military or what he thought about me finding the love of my life in a man who is in the military. I wish I could ask him what he thought about my boyfriend although I'm sure he would love him simply because he loved me. I wish he was there for my7 graduation. I wish he could have congratulated me and wished me luck for the future. I wish so many things and yet I know I will never get that chance. I know in some ways he will always be with me but I also know it will never be the same. missing him is a new reality. I will forever be there remembering him. 

His father's invitation for me to join his family for a barbeque came to me as a surprise but none the less I gladly accepted the offer. It had been already a long day and I could use a break from the insanity of my family. Arriving at his father's house was like most times except this time he wasn't standing next to me. We had prepped food and got ready to go. little was I aware of it being a pool barbeque so his sister lent me some shorts and a tank top and I borrowed one of his t-shirts and we were off. Swimming and spending time with his family even though he wasn't there made me feel as though his family had accepted me. I was more than happy.

Days gone: 13