SPACE LADS SHIT ADVENTURE

What spacelad did

"Righty then" said space lad as removed a cactus from his face for he fell in a pit full of them. "Your probably wondering how I got here, well to be honest I don't actually know but I know it involves Thailand" Space Lad looked at around and pointed at the sun. "I'm going to jump in the sun, but before I do I'm gonna tell you about my adventure.
"My adventure starts like any adventure would start" "in primarks" space lad was buying a top when he came across a man eating a car.
"What are you doing"? Said Space lad
"Ohhh maaate, I'm eating ma carrrr"
"Why"
"Coz I'm fugin hunjery"
"Now why the hell are you doing that you sad fucker"
"Coz I'm fugin hunjery"
"Right you make no bladi sence"
Spacelad then walks off due to frustration when he stumbles across someone that is rambling on about the French and how they are the cream of a school, she had clearly lost her mind.
"OUIOUIOUI BAGUETTE!!!  YOU ARE THE CREAM OF THIS SCHOOL OOOOO FRENCH GHAAAAAAGHHHH"
She shouted when spacelad walked by.
"Oi what the fuck are you on about? You can't just fucking scream things at people  it isn't nice"
"I KIL YOU"
"Right no. Doesn't work like that. You don't just like fuckin do that cunt"
"YOU DIE"
"Hmf n-n-no. Just no. Can you please pipe down cos your giving me a headache".
"KACHOOOOW"
This was enough for spacelad to become enraged so he kicked her head off.
Everyone around him started to cheer.
"Right k"
Spacelad started to walk away but then suddenly he got stabbed but it has no effect on him because he is a god.
"Why"
"Y-y-you you are not dead"
"USUALLY PEOPLE DONT DIE STRAIGHT AFTER THEY HAVE BEEN STABBED. BUT IM NOT A PERSON I AM A GOD"
Spacelad then blew up the man and walked home.
"Fuck me that was a tough fucking day"
"Yee" harvinua replyed with.
"Why am I even in a book"
"Ah well the creator is bored and he has nothing else to do so he is writing about you"
"That kinda gaee"
Spacelad wasn't lie he was good English that is well spoken.
I honestlyhave no clue what I'm doing. Ghaaaaaaasaaa fuck this spacelad can suck dick.