Last time on Keeping Up With the Kardashians...
Unknown: >facepalms< They got captured, so pathetic
Unknown disappears and the group is completely under House Arrest together in one house with Dylan screaming:
Dylan: THERE IS NO CHIMNEY OR MAILBOX! HOW DO I GET MAH HOGWARTS LETTER!?
Dylan: WHEN WILL I GET MINE?!?
Keira: SHUT UP! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS HOGWARTS!
Dylan: So I believed in nothing?
Keira: Basically yes
Dylan: Even the cake was a lie?!?
>Dylan goes into a mental breakdown .<
Keira: Snap the hella out of it! Why is there an Alpha Guard here?!?
Dylan: >between sobs< It was because of my so-called dirty mind... 😭
Alpha Guard: THE POWER OF HOLINESS COMPELS YOU DEMONS BACK
Keira: How the heck do we defeat him?!?
Lindsay: I dunno, having a dirty mind?!
Davis: >joking< DYLAN! WE NEED YOUR HELP
Earlene: HE DOES. NOT. HAVE A DIRTY MIND
Davis: ...
Lindsay: LOOK WHAT YOU DID
Lindsay: WE FINALLY SUCCEEDED INTO MAKING HIM TALK AND HONESTLY IT WAS GREAT
Lindsay: And now he's back to only saying... nothing!
Earlene: Chill lady
Alpha Guard: >throws holy water<
Keira: Ha! You think that would work on us we're not even demo-
>The holy water touches her skin.<
Keira: Shi-
Chika: >death glare<
Keira: >deadpan< I honestly don't know why we brought you to this trip
Keira: Anyways back to what I was saying...
Keira: SCREEEECHHH
Keira: WHY DOES IT BURN
Lindsay: Is it because some of us are of a different religion?!? No, right?!
Keira: Dunno it's working on us too!
Alpha Guard: CRUCIFY THY DEMONS
Davis: He sounds a lot like Mr. Crest wut
>The Alpha Guard throws sponges of holy water and it was like throwing grenades at them.<
Keira: GUYS WHAT IF WE JUST BE DIRTY-MINDED BACK AT THEM!?
Dylan: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Dylan: I'll talk dirty to you, Alpha Guard
Alpha Guard: >visibly gulps< M-may the power of Chr-
Dylan: Kitchen. Floor. Trash can.
Dylan: And your mind too ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
>Dylan's dirty jokes were effective!<
>The Alpha Guard is confused.<
>His resolve weakens!<
>After a few more dirty jokes, resulting in them being in Dylan's house until it was dark.<
Dylan: Remember Thor from Marvel?
Dylan: No one's worthy of lifting his hammer ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Alpha Guard: I'mnotevensureIunderstandthat
Alpha Guard: >deteriorates<
Dylan: WTH it actually worked?!?
Dylan: Yas! Now that I have proved that I am worthy, I can now get my Hogwarts letter!
Dylan: Wait...
Dylan: Hogwarts doesn't exist...
Now that Dylan has been successfully freed, will Keira and her friends be lucky enough to free the rest of their friends? Why was Dylan's jokes so effective?!? Find out in the next episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians!
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Keeping Up With the Kardashians
HumorA TV show for adults, written by a kid for a couple kids, and posted in Wattpad for teenagers over seventeen. What could go wrong? I have the answer. Everything.