Depression has a hero

Chapter 1

Frida;

Should I get up? Is it even worth it anymore? The questions in my head stared racing back and forth, my body struggling to get out of my bed.

"Honey, it's time to get up for school. You don't want to be late" My mother's voice ranged up the stairs. I groaned as I began to turn over, throwing the cover from over myself. Maybe they won't notice me today. Maybe I'll just be invisible.

I heard her footsteps coming closer and she opened my door. "Frida it's time to go up" for a second was I thinking about if I should lay quiet or say something. "Just leave me I'm coming" She left and I took slowly on my clothes. The black Nirvana top and the black ripped jeans.

I started to wash my face, I looked inside of the mirror, my skin was pale, yet my eyes continued to be stained with red. I decided to put my make up on, so no one would ask questions. Now, I usually wear my hair up, but maybe I should try something different. I put my hair tie down, and shook my curls loose. It didn't take me much longer to continue to put my make up on, and soon enough I found myself walking down stairs, greeting my mum. "I'm leaving now." She said to me, I nodded my head, understanding the busy women must leave..

I started to think about skipping school. It would be as dumb and shitty as yesterday.

I started to eat my breakfast before I choosed to go.

I took my dirty white converse and my bag. I was searching for my keys in my bag and when I found them I locked the door.

I looked up to see how grey the sky and clouds were.

The clouds were grey for me and for my issues are what is polluting the sky.

I started to skate on my skateboard to school. The wind was blowing in my hair and it was a new feeling to me, I didn't know if I should enjoy it because everything I enjoys, always seems to fade away from me.

I walked so fast I could to my school locker. I felt they eyes on my neck. It was wednesday so at least it was a short school day but actually I didn't know if it would be better for that.

The stares caused me to stare at the ground. It's bad enough they all hate me, I don't want to bring attention to myself. I walked with my head down the whole way to class.

I had math and it was bad enough.

I was bad in math and I would probably get a question that I can't answer and people would start laugh for that.

So that's why I didn't raise my hand. I was just another student filling up the seat.

"Hey loser," The girl next to me called. Her name is Mindy. She always picked on me, I'm never quite sure on what I ever did to her to make her so hateful to me.

Don't ignore me. If anything I should be ignoring you, your presence is making me sick." Her words snarled at me. It was like taking blows to the face, except these blows hurt more than punches. I tried to brush it off. To fight whatever on coming tears were on their way. Just ignore her Frida

The math teacher gave us stupid test to do and while I struggled trough the numbers I heard Mindy's hard words from my left.

Her words felt like knives in my whole body and I was fighting back the tears. My whole body Wanted to scream and cry but I just sat quiet. I was happy to have my hair hiding my face so she couldn't se how I tried to not cry.

"How about you just go back home, crawl into your little corner, and die there. You obviously have no purpose here, so why waste anymore time letting nature take it's course, when you can do it yourself?" I heard a small snicker after that. My lips quivered, I can't believe she just said that. I grabbed my bag and left without a word.

"Frida, get back here!" The teacher yelled. But I just ran. I was done. No no more of this pain. No more of this torment. No more of this hell.

After I ran out of that class room, there was no turning back. I know what i wanted to be at that moment, and I wanted to be dead. I ran up to my locker, throwing myself on top of the others. My fingers were shaky as I slowly opened my locker door, I grabbed my skateboard and my jacket and slammed the locker door shut, I didn't care that i left it open from how hard I slammed it. I placed my skateboard on the floor, and began skating through the empty hallway. I rolled my way right up to the exit. I pushed the door open with all the remaining strength I had, i jumped off my skateboard, and began to run. I began to cry, the tears were finally coming down. I guess the sky being grey was for me, because the sky began to cry too. I bet it can feel my sadness too.

No hesitation. I made no hesitation finding my way to the kitchen when I got home. My mom wouldn't be home for hours, and my dad is not here anymore. So I'm all alone. I grabbed the knife and ran up the stairs, slamming the door shut. I stumbled into the corner of my room. I felt weak, vulnerable. I was a danger to myself, but there is no one here to save me. I gently glided the knife on my wrist, deciding in my head of i should do it or not. I haven't cut before, but i felt like I had no other option. I swallowed down hard, I can't do this.

"I hate myself. " I cried. I shook my head, hysteria taking over me. I threw the knife across the room, and I broke down. Each part of me was crumbling. I couldn't fix it anymore.

I was thinking and took a pencil and paper and started to wrote.

"Dear mom or whoever reads this. If you're reading this, I'm gone. Not like a ran away, but I'm gone. It was not your fault. It was all my fault, everything. I was being pushed off this edge, each word, each tear, pushing me closer and closer off of it. Until now, I'm falling. And there's nothing here to save me. So I say farewell to you, don't grieve over me. Don't stay heartbroken over me. I was just another person who filled space in this cruel hell bound world. I will remember you mom. I love you, Good bye. -Frida x"

My handwriting was shaky and I took the paper and laid it where I know someone would see it.

I took my converse on and started to walk to my goal.