Now You're Gone [Vauseman Fanfic]

It's Been A While

Keep my heart

Somewhere drugs don't go

Where the sunshine slows

Always keep me close.

--

Hey,

I've been trying to figure out what to write for ages and I'm not totally sure that I've actually figured it out yet. It's always different when the person you're trying to talk to is gone. It's been a while, huh. Sorry about that, I swear I meant to write sooner but... it's been hard. I just miss you so much already.

You'll be pleased to know that Nicky's been up my ass (no, not literally) and making sure that I eat, sleep, shower and basically act like a normal functioning human being now that you're gone. She's always been a good friend, in one way or another. She hasn't propositioned me yet so maybe the 'or another' part isn't totally true anymore.

It was hard to adjust to your absence at first, I had gotten so used to seeing you around here. When I walk into the canteen and you aren't sitting at our table making stupid jokes or playing footsie with me under the table. The showers are missing a person at 5 am every morning.

I don't want to mope around anymore but there are reminders of you everywhere. Even Pennsatucky reminds me of you, how fucked is that? Everyone is being real patient with me, Nicky said they owed it to you to be. They miss you, even if they hate to admit it.

I'm sorry that I didn't get to say goodbye before you left or tell you that I love you, so I'll tell you now; I love you with every fibre of my being and I've known you were the one for me since I laid eyes on you in that lame bar all those years ago. One day we'll be together again, hopefully you'll have forgiven me by then. I just hope I don't have to wait too long.

I'm sorry I couldn't save you Alex. I'm sorry that you're no longer here and that you died thinking that I didn't choose you. That I didn't love you more. I'm sorry you thought you didn't have anyone here and turned to drugs to help you out. It's like you told me; what's having a life worth living, if you don't have the will to live. I hope you didn't lose the will to live.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all of it.

Wait for me.

- Your Pipes.

-

AN: Hey guys, I apologise for my lack of activity on here. I have one more one-shot to upload on here and then I promise to update One Last Time and possibly Into The Fire too. I will be away for about a month on the 18th of July so I won't be able to update until around the 16th of August. I apologise for this but hopefully the break will inspire me to write a bunch of new stuff! I just want to say thank you for all of the comments and votes that you guys are leaving on my stories they really are appreciated and do encourage me to try harder at my writing for you guys. Again, I'm sorry for not updating but I promise to update before I leave! As always, please read, enjoy and review.