Believe (HIATUS)

11

Y/N opened her eyes not being able to hear anything but the ringing noise in her ears. Her side was hurting, along with her head, and chest. She looked around feeling scared for many reasons. She didn't know where she was at. She didn't know what happened. She didn't know where her family was at. She couldn't hear. And she was alone. She was alone and in a stranger room.

She could feel her heart hammering into her chest cause of the mask on her face and the throbbing coming from her head and chest. She wanted her Mami or even her Papi to come and hold her. Tell her that everything was okay. But she didn't know where they were at.

She then felt herself panic even more when she saw a woman in a white coat coming towards her. She saw the older woman moving her lips but she couldn't hear.

All the six year old could do now was cry. Her chest hurting with every sob. She wanted her Mami. She wanted to go home. She wanted her Papi. She wanted her older brothers to make this stranger go away. She cried out for them, for her parents, for her brothers.

But they didn't come.

*

"I-I w-want m-my m-mami." The six year old said as her eyes filled with tears looking up at the tall doctor. The older woman looked down at her patient with a sympathetic look. "I'm so sorry sweetie." Is all she said.

*

The six year old stood by the side of the tall police officer. She looked down at the big tombstone. It had her brothers names and her parents names as well.

December 21 2006
Rest In Piece
Martin Y/LN June 2 1968
Maria Y/LN April 10 1970
Oscar Y/LN February 7 1989
Jose Y/LN February 7 1989
Ricardo Y/LN August 22 1990
Cristobal Y/LN October 14 1992
Gone but never forgotten.

Y/N stood right in front of the tombstone looking down at the names. She looked to her side to see some of her uncles, aunts, cousins and grandparents. She walked over to her aunt who was her mother's sister. "T-Tia I-I w-want mmy mo-Shut up Y/N not right now." With that the older woman walked away. Y/N frowned as she her lower lip wobbled. Her eyes filled with tears. She didn't know why they were being so cruel to her.

"I don't ever want to see your face again. This is your fault." Uncle Ulysses growled out as he wiped his tears away. The six year old looked up tears streaming down her cheeks. "B-But Tio-No cállate. Por tu culpa mi hermano ya no está. Por que no podías hacer tu la que se murió." With that the older man walked away.

"Sir will you be taking the young girl under your-No I will not officer. Take her. I don't care what you do. But take her away I don't won't anything to do with her. We stopped being her family when my brother died." Ulysses growled out.

"But sir-I said take her away. I don't won't her."

Before the younger girl could say or do anything she was being lead away from the only family she had.

"T-Tio!" She yelled as she cried but the older man didn't do anything he just kept walking not looking back.

*

After being taken away from the only family she had left she couldn't stop the tears that kept escaping her eyes. No matter how she felt, they didn't care. The only family she had left, let a man take her away to god knows where. Everyone was grieving, hurting and they forgot that not only did they lose a sister, a brother, nephews. Y/N lost everything, her parents, her brothers. They were gone and the one who really needed the support was left alone. Alone to deal with the loss of losing her family and having to deal with the guilt. At just six years old.

*

My eyes filled with unshed tears as I walked fast back to the room. How can they show up just like that after years of being gone. They left me. They let that officer take me. They let him. I was left alone to grieve by myself. And to fend for myself. They had no idea what it was like. They had no idea how it felt to be alone. They have no idea.

What it was like to be alone.

With a blurred vision I turned a corner only to bump into someone. "Y/N are you okay?" I heard the voice I recognized as Normani ask. I kept my head down as my tears now escaped my eyes. I felt her hands on my shoulder and then pull me into a very much needed hug.

"Hey it's okay. Just breath." I didn't even realize that I was breathing heavy. I felt her lead me into a room. I heard voices but right now I could only focus on trying not to have an asthma attack.

Deep breaths, Y/N. It's okay. Everything is okay. They can do anything. I'm already eighteen. They can't say or do anything. Even if I wasn't I wouldn't talk or go anywhere with them. Over my dead body.

I felt Normani's hand gently smoothing out my back. I still felt like I couldn't breath. I need my inhaler. I can't-I felt Normani pull into her and my head rested on her chest. "It's okay. What ever it is Y/N, you don't have to bottle it up. Dinah call Chrissy." It was faint. Her voice sounded far away. I can't breath. I feel like my lungs are closing up on me.

But then I felt something on my lips. I inhaled and realized that it was my inhaler. I opened my eyes to see Normani holding my inhaler after two puffs I was able to calm my breathing at least. I took a shaky breath and realized that Normani was still holding me. She was smoothly running her hand on my back. I felt the overwhelming feeling of love..no it couldn't be love. Could it?

I mean Normani and I got pretty close. Ever since that movie night we just clicked.

"Hey it's okay." Her vice bringing me out of my thoughts. I gently pulled away I looked at Normani to see her slightly frown but then smiled slightly. "I'm sorry." I mumbled out looking down.

"No you have nothing to apologize for. Chrissy told us what happened, well some of it but just calm down." I looked down at my hands that were slightly shaking.

"Y/N who were those people?" I heard Chrissy ask. I let out a shaky breath and looked at Chrissy.

"My godparents. The same people who turned their backs on me. The same people who let a stranger take me away and leave me at a house where I was left alone. The same people who left me to deal with the pain of losing my family by myself. The same people who blamed me for the death of my family. The same people who wanted nothing to do with me. If they really think that I'm going to let them back in my life after everything I went through, after all the pain and misery I went through by myself. After being put into a house after house they must be really stupid if they think I'm letting any where near me. No. No I have no family. My family died 12 years ago. I can-Hey." I felt Chrissy pull me into a hug. I need to calm down or else I'll have another panic/asthma attack.

"No one is making you see them or talk to them. No will the only person who can make you do that is yourself. You don't have to do anything." I nodded and kept my gaze down.

"Y/N are you okay?" Normani asked after a moment of silence. I looked up to see Normani looking down at me. Her eyes filled with concern. I nodded.

"I will be. Just need a moment." She nodded as she put her hand on my shoulder. I could have jumped out the small spark I felt. I could tell she jumped as well. She smiled slightly and pulled her hand away.

"Y/N you have my number if you need anything. Okay?" I nodded at a small smile. She leaned down and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders as hers went around my waist. I felt so safe in her arms. I know I've just started getting close to Normani but still. She makes me feel safe. Makes me feel...at home?

***

:)

-Moni