Just go with it

Shopping

I never got around to asking Michael about it.

I hung out with him a few days after the dinner at James's. He demanded that I tell him everything that happened. I told him Blake was a sweetheart. How Evan didn't seem that bad, I didn't tell tell him about the volleyball team, or the fact I knew about him calling me off limits. I told him Brad was pretty cool.

"What about Luke?"

I hesitated. "Well, he was just Luke I guess."

Michael sighed. "So he was a jerk?"

"I don't know. He was rude, he glared at me a lot. He doesn't like me and he didn't attempt to hide it."

Michael nodded and dropped the subject. We hung out the rest of the day just watching movies. It had been nice to relax.

Weeks went by and all I did was hang out with Michael and Taylor. We met James and the boys out to eat twice. Mom and I, not Michael or Taylor.

Two months went by and next thing I know mom and James's wedding was coming up. We had three weeks. Three weeks until I had to move in with the Smith's. I wouldn't mind Blake, he was excited. He couldn't wait until mom and I moved in. Evan seemed neutral. He was still nice-ish to me on the few occasions I saw him. Brad seemed to like me. He told me at one point that he thought it'd be cool if we end up with any classes together once school started back. Luke continued to hate me. I haven't said anything to make him mad, in fact neither of us has said a word to each other since the first night we ate at his place. I'm honestly surprised he hasn't talked his brothers into hating me. He probably just doesn't want to talk about me.

"Alex! What do you think about this one?"

Mom snapped me out of it. We were wedding dress shopping and she had already tried on about twenty dresses, all of them we both hated. I looked at the one she had on now. It was okay, it just didn't seem right.

"I don't know."

Mom turned to the mirror.

"I like it, but it doesn't seem me. You know?" mom looked back at me.

"Exactly."

Mom huffed. "This is much harder than it was the first time."

I knew mom missed dad. Even if she did think he was a back stabbing dick head, I knew deep down she missed him.

"Do you have anything else?" I asked the lady helping us. I think her name is Deborah.

She smiled, but I could tell she was getting annoyed at us for turning down every dress she offered.

"I have one in the back you two might like." She rushed off.

Mom went back into the dressing room. I checked my phone for the time. We'd been here for four hours. I was starving. At that moment Taylor texted me.

Tay:  has yo mom picked a dress yet???

me:  no we're on the like 21 dress

Tay:  omg tell her to make up her mind!!

me:  haha i will

I wouldn't though.

Tay:  no u wont

Me:  I know

I clicked my phone off as mom came back out of the dressing room. My eyes widened. The dress was perfect. It was like a strapless dress, but above the breast was lace all the way up to her neck. The lace dipped slightly in the back. The rest of the dress was plain white, no extra anything. It was oddly simple yet amazing.

Mom gasped when she saw herself in the mirror. Tears came to her eyes.

"Mom." I stood up and went to stand next to her.

"I love it. Oh Alex, it's perfect! Right? You like it too, right?" mom looked at me hopefully. Even if I didn't like it, I wouldn't be able to tell her.

So I nodded. "It's perfect. You look amazing."

Mom took me in for a long hug. "Thank you honey."

We left the shop after buying the dress. We already had the bridesmaid dresses picked out. They're very simple. Baby blue, strapless and pretty. Mom said Taylor and I could be two of the bridesmaids. Mom's sister is flying in from New York to be the maid of honor. Heather, mom's sister, is very happy mom's finally remarrying. She also believed dad left us for someone else, so she was more than happy to see proof that mom has moved on. Mom's brother Harold was flying in from Chicago, and his wife, Macy, is going to be the other bridesmaid.

Taylor is probably the most excited about the wedding. She's never been a bridesmaid before, and she feels the need to tell me this every time I see her. I would be more excited about it, but James is inviting a lot of his friends and coworkers, and the boys are inviting friends and dates. Then my mom has her whole family coming down for it, including her friends. Then I have Michael and Taylor coming with their families. And I have to wear a dress. I'm honored mom wants me to be a bridesmaid, but I have to walk in front of all those people in a dress. Just the thought of it makes me nauseous.

We ate at Jack's before going home.

Once we stepped through the door, my mom sniffed. I looked over at her and saw tears streaming down her face.

"Mom! What's wrong?"

She shook her head. " It's just that, in about three weeks, we won't live here anymore. We'll have to sell the house. It won't be our home anymore." mom broke down in tears.

I looked around. Our house was pretty big, not as big as the Smith's house, but still fairly large. But mom was right. This was home. I have been having the same thoughts she's having right now, but I only let myself think about it at night when I'm alone in bed. I've cried many times about missing the house, missing the life mom and I had made for ourselves. I knew once mom and James got married mom wouldn't have much time to spend with me. She would have a husband, four more kids to deal with, plus her new job. Her boss had given her some off time, two months off actually, to prepare for the wedding. He said she had earned it, because for the past six years she's been to work every day she was needed, sick, hungover from a night out with some guy, she was there. It used to bother me that she could always be at her job, but not at home with me. I'm used to it now. 

"It's all the memories we have here, and you grew up in this house, and you seem fine." she sobbed. I guess I put on a better act than I thought. Or she just doesn't pay enough attention.

"I'm going to miss the house mom. A lot, actually. I thought you were the one who didn't care."

She looked at me in shock.

"You didn't even spend as much time in it as I did." I didn't mean for that to be accusing, I was simply just pointing out the fact. But mom seemed to take it like I was mad at her for never being around. I wasn't mad at her. I had gotten over it a long time ago.

"I know I wasn't home much, and I'm very sorry. I was going through a rough time and I didn't think about you missing me or being all alone. I'm sorry."

If I was mad at her, I would've pointed out that she just admitted to not thinking about me, that she basically just forgot about me. I would've told her how much I cried, told her how much I needed her. But I wasn't mad.

"Mom, don't beat yourself up about it. I wasn't alone, I had Michael and his family."

Apparently that wasn't a good thing to say either. She took it as I replaced her with them as a family.

"No mom. That's not what I meant. All I was trying to say was that I wasn't alone. Don't worry about it."

She opened her mouth like she was about to argue, but I really didn't feel like arguing.

"I don't feel good." I said before she could say anything. "And I'm exhausted. I think I'm gonna go on to bed. Night mom." I kissed her cheek and left her standing by the door.