I use humor to cover my sadness and filters to hide the tracks of my tears, I deny all madness and stand strong against my fears, I long for gladness and when I cry for help nobody hears, I say God is my vindicator with Him I shall not grieve, but deep in my heart do I really believe? Oh Lord how I long to be in your embrace, how much longer do I have to deal with this place? There is no hope for me- I am a disgrace, why do I have to be apart of the human race? How much longer do I have to suffer in this despair, stuck in a place where nobody has a care... Everything within me says I will suffer hells damnation for sure, but then You overwhelm me with hope that is pure... Do I stand a chance in a world so torn? Where all of life suffer, destroy, and mourn? I want to be the light in the midst of the storm, yet cannot override the anger and the scorn... Am I forever doomed to be misunderstood and judged by others for the things I do right or the things I do wrong? This is my story, this is my song... I have made promises that I could not keep, simply because in my sin I was too deep... Please forgive me Lord for all I've done wrong, but most importantly please save those that my actions have caused the most harm...
