The Sun's Binary star( Continuation Of High School Diary Of Kongpob) Completed

Chapter 9

Hello dear friend. ..

You know you are the only person who knows everything about me but still i am not able to be in contact with you as before like everyday.

It has been 6 months since my sun stopped talking with me, without him i dont know what exactly i can say to you. You know every entry that i made before this 6 months were fully about him and when i think about him i cannot control myself and tears drop automatically.  It hurts and pains a lot.  I want to shout and cry for him but i cannot do it.  I have to stay strong. He don't like too see me cry but still i cannot stop crying.

Do you know it hurts to that extend that if i stay awake all i think about is him so i try to sleep as much as i can so that the day moves fast and i get dream about him. I dream about him being with me and when i wake up and find that all is in my head and cry again. I dont know to whom i should say all this because everyone i know thinks that i am strong only i know how i am shaking inside. I dont want anyone to know that i am hurt.

Do you know i saw a shop with his name and when i saw his name i cannot help just smile.

You know what was so worse? I saw someone today who resemble's him and i almost followed him to his house. Do you that i am obsessed with him and so that i am hallucinating about him? I see him in everything i do is the break up is always this hard? But wait do i even have the rights to say it as break up? No. Its all over before it can even start. Why cannot i control my tears when i think of the good memories that i spent with him?

You know, he almost broke all the promise he made with me. He said that he will be with me always and i am important to him. He said that he will never ignore me but still he is ignoring me. He said that we would have a long journey with me in train. He broke every promise he made but still why cannot i hate him why do i still love him? Why does it hurt me? Do yoy think that if i fall for someone new this ache will dull? Do you think that i have the capacitu to fall for anyone? Do you think anyone will fall for someone like me?

I am good at nothing i am not smart like him. I am not handsome like him. I dont have any talent now when i think about it i am no way near to him in any aspect. Still i want him to be with me. Do you think that i am selfish? Will he fall for me if i make myself a better person?

Do you know i found a new way to dull the pain other than sleep. That is when i talk. When i talk the pain dulls a little. So i started to talk without a gap so that i cannot think about him. Do you think i changed a lot?

Still he would have left me if i had not hurt him. This is all my fault right? Do you think he even felt something for me? He is ignoring me for 6 months but still i am texting him and begging him to talk with me. Do you think that he hate me to that extend that even doesnt bother to read my text? It hurts. I wish i can go back and change every thing but i also wish to completely forget everything about him. I want to forget that there was a person  named arthit in my life. Do you think it will ever be possible? But i miss him a lot. Just want to see him once. Just once. Will that ever happen?